


Those Who Could Have Helped

by Writingfangirlforhire



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: A bit of gore, Blood, F/F, I mean come on its not like Simon's going to like himself for being a vampire, M/M, Murder, Self Acceptance, eventual sexual relationships, self hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2018-06-06 05:23:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6740059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writingfangirlforhire/pseuds/Writingfangirlforhire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon is struggling with being a vampire, being a monster. And he won't let anybody near him because of it. So it might be up to a warlock to get a vampire the help he needs. And it might be up to a different vampire to make him feel loved and safe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Monster

Simon smiled weakly, Clary was laughing as if his joke was the best thing she’d ever heard. Maybe it was since the… transition. Clary held his hand as she laughed, way too hard and too pushed for Simon to believe it. He glanced over to Jace, who was frowning as per his usual… Jace-iness.

Simon just forced another smile and looked away from the Shadowhunter and his best friend. Clary noticed his behavior this time and frowned as he looked away. The forced happiness in the room was drained faster than Simon could drain a blood bag. He pulled his hand out of Clary’s as he stood up. He could feel the hatred returning as he walked over to the corner of the room, as far away from Clary and Jace as he could get without injuring one of them. Jace stood in front of one doorway and Clary was on the way to the other one. There was a mirror on one side of the room that he could barely see himself in, he could choose not to; he wasn’t sure how that whole thing worked.

He wasn’t a prisoner here by any power but Clary’s will, but that was enough to keep him here because that meant that Jace would keep him here. Simon felt it again. The anger.

Simon closed his eyes, facing the wall, and took a deep ( _Unnecessary_ his brain reminds him) breath to calm himself. But the anger was still there, pressing itself forward.

“Simon,” Clary said softly, Simon flinched, “Are you okay?”

_Yes of course I’m okay. It’s not like I’m a fucking VAMPIRE._

“I’m, uh, drain-… tired,” he said, stopping himself from saying that he was emotionally drained. That wasn’t really an appropriate word to use any more. He touched the wall with his long ( _pale, cold, lifeless,_ ) fingers as he waited for her to respond.

“Are you….” Clary started to ask. Simon knew what she was going to ask. She wanted to know if he was thirsty. But Clary was still trying to dilute herself into thinking that Simon was normal.

“You know what? I don’t feel good,” Simon said sharply, his anger was growing. _I’m not normal dammit, stop lying to yourself!_

“Clary,” Jace finally intervened, “you having training to do.” Simon looked over at Jace, his anger subsiding for suddenly overwhelming gratitude. He jerked his face back to looking at the wall. What was up with these mood swings?

And…. Yes. There’s the anger again.

“But…. Simon-,” Clary started to argue. Simon didn’t even have to look at her to know the face she was making.

“Is tired,” Jace interrupted, his voice was strong and unwavering. Simon _did_ look at Jace. Jace was giving Clary that “Don’t argue with me I know how to kill literally everything including you” look, before glancing at Simon.

Simon felt grateful again; but he also felt jittery when Jace gave him a small smile. He was sure that if he had a heartbeat, it would have sped up a little bit. The knowledge surprised him and he turned away again.

_G-Damn, you’re so flighty. You’re so weak, look at yourself Lewis._

“Don’t worry about me Clary,” he smiled finally, not showing his teeth. He knows his fangs aren’t out, but he doubts he’ll be able to show his teeth for a long time. Clary smiled back at him, not a big smile, but a genuine one.

“Okay, we’ll talk later,” She said standing and walking over to give him a hug. He let her hug him, but looked at Jace while she did, and didn’t let his head lower to her shoulder like how they used to hug. It’d be too much for him to control.

He’s a bundle of nerves and jittery energy when she finally backed away from his hug, and deep in his gut is that urge. That need. Simon refused to look at Clary when he felt his fangs stabbing at the skin of his gums. He stuck his tongue up to meet them and stabbed his tongue on his fangs. The pain was dull. Everything was dull but his need for blood.

“Right?” Clary spoke again. Simon looked up, he’d forgotten that she had spoken to him. He smiled tightly, unable to avoid looking at her.

“Of course,” he offered weakly, turning away from her as the urge became stronger with a feeling of fear; and hatred.

_Of course not. I’ll be gone as soon as you and Jace are sparring._

“Good,” Clary smiled, “I thought we could listen to some music.” The ‘Like we used to’ was left off of that sentence, but it was nearly tangible.

“Please go,” Simon pleaded, he could feel his fangs lowering as his emotions raised. He felt himself panic, but that wasn’t helping his fang situation.

“I-.” Clary tried to speak.

“He’s right,” Jace interrupted calmly, “It’s time to go.” Simon internally thanked Jace for his effort.

“Well, okay….” Clary said softly, “Bye Simon.”

“Goodbye Clary,” Simon responded. He heard Clary walking to the door, he could hear her heartbeat too. And Jace’s. He could tell the difference. Clary’s was slower than Jace’s but it was higher of a vibration wave. Jace’s was a deeper vibration but quicker.

 _Why is his heartbeat quicker?_ Simon thought looking back at Jace with a look of curiousity. The Shadowhunter’s eyes didn’t leave Simon until Clary was out the door and pull his arm.

The lack of a heartbeat was stifling for Simon, but such a relief at the exact same time. One less thing to worry about.

Later Simon ran away and drained the first person he met. He meant to make it all the way to the woods to find a deer, but he couldn’t control himself. He drained the person until she was practically shriveled and completely bloodless. And then he ran away. As far away as he could manage into the woods.

He found a cave, drained a bear, and decided to stay.

 _You’re a fucking monster, Simon._ He told himself. He sat down on a rock. It occurred to him that it was pitch black in the cave, a normal person- _A mundane_ , he told himself- wouldn’t be able to see a thing. But he could see everything perfectly.

_What am I going to tell mom? Or Maureen?_

He’d have to quit the band obviously. They already do mostly night performances, but it would still require travelling and practice in the daytime.

Simon felt a crushing wave of sadness overcome him and then he felt hunger again. The need for blood was consuming the wave of sadness.

Simon looked out the entrance to the cave. He could smell the blood. There was a pack of deer nearby- but OH. Ohhh. Simon closed his eyes and moaned.

A smell, sweeter than anything Simon had ever smelled before, wafted into the cave. It was human blood. There was a home near here, he could tell. Simon’s eyes went wide as the thirst controlled his every thought.

He tried to go after the deer. Honestly.

When his thirst was quenched, he realized what he’d done and nearly threw up.

_Monster. Murderer. Evil. Monster. Monster. Monster._

“What have I done?” He sobbed, looking at the lifeless bodies of the family he just killed. He didn’t even need to drink all that blood. But he just started drinking and couldn’t stop.

_I either need to learn to control myself, or die._

_______

Jace looked around the empty room. He knew that Simon would leave once he and Clary were gone, but he’d hoped that Simon would at least leave a note, for Clary. Jace had been able to keep Clary occupied all night, until there wasn’t time for her to go see Simon.

Jace, however, had headed back to the vampire’s room as soon as Clary had gone to bed. Simon was nowhere to be seen. Jace figured that he could probably track him if he tried hard enough, but he also figured that Simon didn’t want to be tracked.

“He’ll come back when he’s ready,” Alec’s bored voice said behind him, “But I think that it might be a while.” Jace turned to face his parabati.

“Why do you think that?” Jace asked, despite knowing that his best friend was right.

“Clary is stifling him and you’re acting just as distant as usual,” Alec said plainly, as if he was perfectly aware of everything that Simon was feeling when he decided to run away.

“Well I figured that _someone_ needed to act normal around him,” Jace shrugged. Alec shrugged too before rolling his eyes and turning to leave.

“Maybe you should act your less asshole-ish version of normal.”

_________

Simon had burned the bodies. It was difficult to do it whilst avoiding fire, but he figured it was safest to not have bodies lying around. And he hated himself for it.

After getting rid of the bodies, he got rid of all perishable foods and cleaned the blood off of the floor. He needed a place to stay, since he already killed the family, why not stay here? He found the cell phones of the family of four and disconnected the landline. He texted the parts of the family that seemed often contacted and claimed that they landline had gotten damaged somehow. Then he texted friends, making sure that none were just gonna show up.

Simon used blankets to block all the windows so that he could walk around the house during the day if he needed to. Then he gathered up the gun, machete, and bow and arrows that were in the family’s backroom and he made sure that he had access to one at all times.

Then he called his mom.

“Hey mom,” he said brokenly to the answering machine, “It’s me, uh your son obviously. I’m uh… I might not be home for a while. I’m uh… I’m with some friends from school, in a… in a cabin. We’re gonna be here for some hanging out and working on school work. But I won’t be home to go to class. I uh, just wanted you to know that I’ll be okay, I’m fine. I’ll call you again soon, okay? Sorry it’s so early. I love you so much mom. Tell Clary that I’m sorry I bailed on her and let Maureen know that I might…. I might have to drop out of the band. Right. Um soo…. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” Simon hung up and looked at the tv in the family’s living room.

Well, he needed something to do…

“No…” he said out loud, “I need to train myself. Or something.” Simon turned to the machete, and studied it before slowly walking over to pick it up. He studied it in his hand and started waving it through the air. He slowly started to make a figure 8 pattern, making sure that the machete would always be in a damaging position.

The rest of the night was spent practicing with the machete over and over again.

When sunrise came, Simon laid on the floor in the basement, not comfortable with sleeping in the family’s beds. Simon stared at the corner of the basement, and let self-hatred take over. Eventually he started crying. He fell asleep with tears running down his cheek.

______

It had been three weeks since Simon left. Clary still wasn’t focusing as well as she should have been, Jace was tense still, shoving everything away like he always did. But worst of all was the fact that both of them were blaming themselves.

Alec and Isabelle just watched them self-destruct.

But eventually it was affecting the work that they had to do and Alec needed to make it stop.

“Why don’t you just track him already? It’s been a long time, surely he’s had enough time to adjust,” Izzy suggested one day. Clary didn’t seem so sure, but Jace just nodded and left the room. Alec studied the way that Izzy put one arm around Clary’s shoulders. It was interesting how quickly Clary melted into Izzy’s touch. Not that he cared…. It was just interesting.

It took five minutes for Jace to return. He held a t-shirt that was Simon’s.

“The signal is too weak,” Jace mumbled, “There’s not enough of his essence on this shirt anymore.”

“Where’d you get that?” Clary spoke up, standing out of Izzy’s embrace abruptly, “That’s one of Simon’s favorite t-shirts.” It was a light blue shirt with some fandom reference that Jace had no fucking clue about. He rolled his eyes and turned away from her. Clary seemed angry.

“I need your help Alec,” Jace said to his parabatia. Alec squinted at him and hesitated. It took a singular puppydog pout to get Alec standing and stalking over.

“I’m only doing this because you’re pathetic without that vampire, and my parabatia, also because worse people could find and train Simon and that wouldn’t be good. He’s stronger and braver than any of you ever realized,” Alec spoke, he grasped Jace’s hand and the t-shirt. Clary still seemed rather upset, but let Alec and Jace try to track Simon.

“Oh there’s no need to do that!” came the sing-song voice of one particular head warlock of Brooklyn. Jace and Alec pulled apart suddenly, both surprised at the silent appearance of Magnus Bane.

“Why?” Asked Clary, trotting to Magnus’s side. Magnus smiled at her, fondly but tightly, before turning back to the others.

“Because the Lewis kid is at Casa de Werewolf. Having given the underdogs distinct permission to kill him if he peaks a singular toe over the line he’s set,” Magnus sang. He smiled, but there was a taint to his smile. A resignation.

“What?” Clary seemed shocked, eyes wide.

“How do you know?” was Alec’s slightly interested response.

“Is he okay?” Izzy asked, standing, worry on her face. Only Jace was silent, studying Magnus with the sort of intensity that could scare even a vampire. Magnus raised an eyebrow at the silent Shadowhunter, as if he could hear his thoughts.

“Raphael told me,” Magnus answered Alec’s question first, “He’s been trying to get Simon to come back with him to the Hotel DuMort, but Simon won’t budge. And, as far as I can tell from what Raphael told me and general knowledge about your friend, he seems to be depressed, but terrified of himself,” Magnus turned away from them, to a wall. Using his magic he created a screen on the wall, it showed a cabin in a woods.

“What are we looking at?” Alec asked, everyone migrated in front of the screen. “Who lived there?”

“Currently? No one. But, since his disappearance from yours, this was the place that Simon was staying up until two days ago. And before that? A nice family of four,” Magnus answered smoothly, only a hint of darkness to his usual tone gave away any hint that what he was saying was negative to him.

“Wha-,” Clary started to ask, choking on her words a little bit, “what happened to them?” Magnus looked back at her, a hint of sympathy in his stoic expression. His age showed a bit more than usual in his soft spot for the bright girl.

“He drained them of life and burnt their bodies,” Magnus said simply, just as passive as he was with his last sentence, but with greater sympathy in his eyes, “Or at least that’s all Luke could get out of him. That’s all he would say.”

“That’s a lie,” Clary grit out, taking a threatening step towards Magnus. Magnus didn’t even flinch, he turned to her, his face flickering between annoyance and concern.

“He said that to Luke, who told Raphael, who told me. And Raphael wouldn’t lie about his precious fledgling if he thought the information could help me help him,” Magnus told her, half a sneer tinted his expression, Magnus waved his hand in a vague expression, changing the scene of the screen behind him to the outside of the Jade Wolf, “The boy is dangerous and terrified of himself. He acts on instinct because he doesn’t know how to control himself yet and he’s not letting the only people who actually can help him anywhere near himself.” Magnus broke eye contact and looked directly at Jace, tilting his face and raising an eyebrow. Jace wondered what Magnus saw in his eyes to make such and expression. “He’s allowing Luke to talk to him for an hour once a day, Raphael gets to visit every other night and is trying to argue with Simon to allow me a visit with him.”

“Why you?” Clary blurted out, a look of betrayal on her face. Magnus turned to her, annoyance written in every line of his expression.

“Because you were doing so much of a fabulous job,” Magnus said, a hint of harshness in his expression, “That he thought he’d give the Warlock that practically raised him, after he turned, a chance to help the poor baby.” Magnus again looked directly at Jace, as if trying to tell him something, before turning to the image of the Jade Wolf, “Simon has requested that you not see him right now. Until he has control, _or_ until it’s at his funeral.”

“WHAT?” Clary yelled, “You can’t be serious.” Magnus frowned at her, finally a hint of sadness breaking through his annoyed expression.

“I’m sorry biscuit,” He said softly, “He’s too dangerous, even for you. Raphael and Luke can take him on a physical level and I’ve got my own ways of protecting myself, but I doubt that even Alec could take him if he’s lost control.” Magnus let his hard exterior return and his gaze turned lofty again.

“I wish I could be on your side, Clary Fairchild,” Magnus said, his voice had its usual lilt, “But unfortunately, the leader of the vampires is a lot nicer to me than you Shadowhunters, and asked me first.” Magnus walked away and down the stairs with a little flounce. As Clary started to chase after him he created a portal and looked back at her.

“I’ll help him Clary.” And like that he stepped through, and the portal collapsed before Clary got to him.

“Dammit!” Clary shouted.

 


	2. Magnus is Quite Magical (I uh.. mean, he's good at magic)

“Magnus?” Simon called softly, the warlock was lounging on a chair in the restaurant. Magnus stood and smiled.

“Samuel,” he said with a sly grin, “It’s good to see you undead and kicking.”

“Simon, and thanks, it’s shitty being undead, but I suppose I could have not made it out of the grave and unlived in there for eternity,” Simon shrugged. Magnus chuckled.

“Well at least your humor didn’t die like the rest of you,” Magnus shrugged back, smile not faltering, “I hear that the invited list to Maison de Lewis is extremely exclusive, I feel honored.” Simon laughed slightly and sat down across from him.

“So, Raphael said that you could help me?” Simon asked, getting directly to the heart of the matter. He bit his bottom lip with his incisors, fangs not showing. Magnus shrugged.

“I _might_ be able to help you.” He corrected Simon before standing, “Would you like to take a field trip Simon?” Magnus smiled down at the vampire, who was dressed in a green t-shirt and black and white plaid long sleeve shirt. It made him look a bit more human. Not as pale, since the green brought out what was left of the red in Simon’s face.

“Umm, it’s still daylight out,” Simon said with a grimace, “I mean, it’s evening, so sunset will be soon, but I’d still die.” Magnus shrugged.

“This doesn’t involve going outside Silas,” he rolled his be-sparkled eyes.

“Simon,” the vampire corrected.

“Whatever, I was actually going to transport us to my place where we can talk in comfort. Of course, if you’re too uncomfortable with that then we can stay in this greasy, wet-dog smelling, Chinese restaurant,” Magnus reasoned, smiling charmingly. Simon looked around.

“I….”

“I know how to stop you if needs be, Simon,” Magnus assured him calmly, saying his name correctly for the first time since Simon’s known him. Simon finally nodded.

“Okay, I’m getting tired of the smell of werewolf anyway,” he said softly.

“Me too and I’ve only been here five minutes,” Magnus said, making a face. He waved his hands in front of him and Simon, making a portal. He turned to Simon with a smile and an extended hand, “After you.”

Simon supposed this was progress, letting Magnus take him somewhere. He hadn’t even let Luke take him anywhere and Raphael was having no luck whatsoever.

Walking through the portal made him feel a bit off, but Simon looked around Magnus’ apartment. It looked a bit more… flamboyant than last time. Magnus shed his rhinestone covered coat and snapped his fingers, it disappeared into thin air. Simon just rolled his eyes at Magnus’ show of magic.

“So,” Simon spoke softly, “what did you want to talk about.”

“Oh, nothing much, I just thought you could use some time to relax,” Magnus said lightly, sitting gracefully on a chair, “Also, I wanted to discuss your training.”

“Oh…” Simon hummed, looking around the apartment some more.

“Please sit,” Magnus motioned to the chair across from him. Snapping, he made a tea cup appear in Simon’s hand. It contained a deep red liquid like blood, but it smelled of coffee. “Have a sip. I made this up myself, it’s blood that tastes like coffee. French press right?” Simon nodded and took a sip, sure enough, it tasted like coffee, except it tasted good now, instead of when anything but blood tasted like it was either ash, or rotten.

“Thanks, I’ve missed the taste of coffee. And this won’t make me sick right?” Simon hesitated before drinking any more.

“It shouldn’t, unless you’re allergic to blood,” Magnus smirked. Simon rolled his eyes and took a drink, sighing with pleasure at the taste.

“I wish,” Simon sighed, looking around Magnus intricately designed apartment. Magnus stood from his seat and smoothed out his silk red and purpled designed shirt. He had a single necklace that hung in the front of the shirt, which was rather Japanese in style, the neck reaching all the way up to his chin. The necklace, which was a pendant, was gold with an emerald cricket inlaid in the pendant. Magnus was wearing purple pants that matched the purple in his silk shirt, and his shoes were gold and black. There was a purple highlight in his hair and red earrings dangled from his earlobes. Simon felt significantly underdressed in comparison with the High Warlock of Brooklyn.

“No you don’t Simon,” Magnus said gently, setting down his own drink and walking over to Simon, “Because, if you couldn’t drink blood, then you couldn’t survive as a vampire.”

“Yeah, that would be the point,” Simon said softly. Magnus sat beside him on the couch where he was sitting. He looked over Simon, his expression trained to be unreadable.

“I don’t think you would be a very good vampire if you were dead,” Magnus offered, raising an eyebrow with a gentle smile. His golden eyes were surrounded by gold and purple sparkles, “Think about how much potential you have to be a force for good among the Downworlders. Vampires, whether hated or not, are respected for their powers and capabilities. You could use that to your advantage.”

“But that’s not me, Magnus,” Simon whined, lowering his tea cup of coffee blood, “I’m weak. I can’t even control when my fangs come out!” Magnus smiled at him and put his hand on his arm.

“I know, but you will learn. Even Raphael, yes your fearless leader, didn’t know how to control his fangs when he was first turned. It’ll take time, but you can do it,” Magnus shrugged. Simon frowned in response. “Just remember Simon, just because you drink blood does not mean that you’re a monster.”

“I killed them,” Simon let out softly. Magnus smiled sympathetically.

“I know,” He said gently, “But you didn’t do so out of malice Simon. You didn’t mean too.”

“But I still did it!” Simon yelled, his fangs made an appearance and he jerked away from Magnus. Magnus, again, didn't flinch; he sat still, calm and collected. Simon looked away, piercing his bottom lip with his fangs, his own blood started dripping off his chin. “I didn't even need to drink all their blood, I felt sick after wards, not just from what I'd done but from how much blood I'd consumed,” Simon sounded horrified, he stared off into space, horror, written on his features, “And then I burned the bodies and took over their house, Magnus. That makes me a monster.”

“No, that makes you a powerful being, without control but with survival instincts,” Magnus corrected, turning Simon's face towards him and snapping to heal Simon's fang marks. Simon's hand jerks up to his lip and he turns away from Magnus again.

“Can I tell you something?” Simon said quietly. He scratched the back of his neck with one hand.

“Of course,” Magnus smiled. Simon took a sip of his coffee/blood. He took a deep ( _Unnecessary_ ) breath and met Magnus eyes.

“Everyone thinks I'm terrified of myself because of the fact that I AM a vampire. But that's not it. I'm terrified of myself, I hate- no, loathe- myself not because of what I am, but because part of me.... part of me loves being a vampire,” Simon explained, “The strength, the power, the never-ending bloodlust.... it's exciting, it's new. I'm not just some mindless 'Mundane' any more. I've got a power that most Mundanes would give up their lives for, kill for. And I love it.” Simon tore his eyes away from Magnus' ancient, understanding gaze.

“You hate yourself because you like being what you always classified as a 'Monster',” Magnus summed up. Simon looked back up at him, strength in his gaze.

“Yes,” he whispered, eyes clear.

“Well that makes sense,” Magnus shrugged. Simon looked taken aback. _Wait, what?_

“It... It does?”

Magnus shrugged again, standing with a flourishing hand motion that Simon assumed was to brush him off, “Of course it does.” He says, his tone was light and positive, “But I think it's something you can overcome easily.”

“You think so?” Simon stood too, excitement covered his expression. Magnus turned back to him with a grin.

“I know so. And here's how we do it....”

* * *

 

Raphael was impressed with neither Jace Lightwood nor Luke Graymark, nor even Magnus Bane, who was making a rather passionate case to let Simon stay with him.

“I don't actually like him that much, but he's safe with me from himself and from others, unlike how he is with your groups,” Magnus was saying for the third time.

Jace Lightwood, who had only heard this round of Magnus's speech, was indignant, “Simon would be much safer at the Institute from attacks than he would at your place!” he argued, “Every single person at the Institute is trained to handle attacks!”

“I'm not concerned about Simon getting attacked by outsiders,” Magnus snapped back, “I'm concerned about Simon getting attacked by Shadowhunters.” Magnus crossed his arms, “He's getting better at controlling himself, but he could still take out a bunch of Shadowhunters if they provoked him.”

Jace looked personally offended, a look that he wore easily, “I think that we're all capable of handling one bloodsucker.” Jace crossed his arms too, matching Magnus's stance.

“Not like him you aren't,” Luke supplied, “Simon's incredibly powerful for an untrained fledgling. And reckless.”

“He hasn't learned how to control himself like other Vampires that you'll encounter have,” Raphael added, boredom in his tone, “There's a certain.... feral side that gets trained out of Vampires. It makes them more dangerous. That's why it's important that he come stay at the Hotel Dumort so I can train him.”

“No,” Jace and Luke said at the same time. Raphael rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to answer when the door to Magnus's apartment burst open. Squealing met their ears. Then a blur followed by more squealing.

And then Simon Lewis was stopped in the middle of their conversation circle, a little girl, Zoe, on his back with her arms around his neck. The amusement on his face faded, despite Zoe's excited giggling from her fast piggyback ride. Simon looked at each person in the circle of friends with the same even expression. Finally he reached up and detached Zoe's hands from his neck, setting her down.

“Zoe, can you go back downstairs?” Simon asked gently. Zoe looked up at him, her eyes flashing purple for a moment when they made eye contact. Simon just smiled at her and she grinned back, nodding.

“Sure Simy!” she said happily, she gave Magnus a quick hug and headed for the door, Simon watched her leave before turning to Magnus.

“What. The. Fuck.” he said slowly, “What do you think you're doing?”

“Simon-,” Luke started to say, but both Simon and Magnus shushed him at the same time.

“Well, Raphael just randomly showed up at my doorstep an hour ago,” Magnus shrugged, “Then the Werewolf showed up a half an hour after that. And the blonde one just came in 15 minutes ago. We were having a lovely conversation, actually.” Magnus smiled charmingly. Simon rolled his eyes and turned away.

“I told you not to do this Magnus,” he growled. Jace and Luke seemed surprised by his tone, but Raphael just raised an eyebrow and Magnus walked away from the group while he replied.

“Well, what I told you was true, except for the part about the conversation being lovely. It was more like an argument really,” he said easily, he walked over to a table with various types of alcohol and a black diamond pitcher of something on it. He grabbed a scotch glass for himself, pouring the appropriate drink for the container, and a wine glass, which he poured what was obviously blood into.

“You said that you wouldn't talk to them about me,” Simon crossed his arms, squinting at the warlock.

“And you said that you were going to keep Zoe entertained all night, yet here we are,” Magnus retorted easily, giving Simon the wine glass with an amused eye roll, “Try to be smart here, darling, I'm on your side.”

“Are you?” Simon questioned with annoyance, rolling his eyes and taking a sip of his blood wine. Magnus put a chain-and-diamonds covered hand over his heart and had the gall to act offended.

“How could you second guess my loyalty, Silas?” Magnus continued acting like the victim, walking back to the rest of his guests.

“You've used that one already, Bane,” Simon retorted, turning to the group, “Since I won't get a straight answer from the _Warlock_ , even though I think I already know the answer to this, just what are you all doing here?” He took another drink of wine and glared at each of them in turn.

“It was time for my bi-nightly visit and you weren't at the Jade Wolf,” Raphael spoke up, his voice was a lot more gentle than it had been before Simon showed up, “So I asked pack dog here where you were. He said you disappeared with Magnus yesterday, so I came here to see what was up. The wolf decided to follow me. I have no clue why _el cazador_ is here except to argue a mute point.” Raphael sneered at Jace who scowled back. Simon rolled his eyes and turned away from the group. He walked farther into Magnus's apartment and sat down on the black leather couch.

“Continue your argument then,” Simon finally spoke up as he turned on the TV. “I'll be here for when you're done.”

“Simon,” Jace spoke up, “I need to apologize to you.” Simon stood abruptly and turned to face him.

“What for?” Simon asked suspiciously, his eyes narrowed.

Jace rubbed the back of his neck, he was wearing fingerless gloves like the pretentious asshole that he was, “For not being there for you. You were scared of yourself, and Clary had no clue was she was doing or what was going on inside of you, and I just let her do what she wanted like I always do. I'm sorry. I should have helped you but.... I didn't know how you would need help from _me_ in particular. Which is a weak excuse for not trying.”

“Please stop,” Simon interrupted, “You acted exactly like you would have if I was mundane and injured. You stood back and let Clary do her thing, nothing new there. It was grounding I suppose. But I wouldn't expect anything different if something like that happened ever again. You did nothing wrong.”

“But I did nothing good, that's my point,” Jace argued, gesticulating to assist with making his point. Simon rolled his eyes and drank the blood wine.

“Fine, I forgive you Jace. Just stop apologizing,” Simon allowed before looking at Magnus, for help. Magnus just turned away with a smug smile, “I'm sorry, because it's not going to get you anywhere.” Jace furrowed his eyebrows and Raphael raised one of his. Luke frowned.

“Simon, are you going to come back to the Jade Wolf with me?” Luke asked quietly. Simon closed his eyes.

“No,” he replied equally as quiet, “I think it's time I went home,” Simon opened his eyes to see Jace and Luke both protesting, “with Raphael.” He finished saying. Raphael's eyebrows raised and his expression lightened, looking pleasantly surprised.

_I swear to G- he has most of his conversations via eyebrow movements._

Magnus looked slightly surprised as well, but not like he disapproved, unlike Jace and Luke.

“No,” Simon interrupted their objections, “I've been running away from this. Magnus has helped me see that in the past 24 hours. And while I'm not excited to spend my un-life among undead Children of the Night, they _are_ my family now. It's their job to help me.”

There was silence in response as Simon downed the rest of his blood wine.

“I'm proud of you Simon,” Magnus spoke up. Jace pressed his lips together, but nodded with resignation.

“If you think that that's best,” he said, “Just remember that you have friends elsewhere too.”

Luke was frowning deeply, but he walked over to Simon and put a hand on Simon's shoulder, “If they ever mistreat you,” he said, fondness coating his voice, “my pack _will_ eat them for you.”

Now Raphael was the only one who had spoken, he was observing everything silently. Contemplation was written all over his stoic expression. Simon turned to Raphael, waiting for a response.

“ _Por lo tanto, mi bella incipiente ha decidido volver a casa?_ ” Raphael murmured in Spanish, apparently to himself. Or maybe to Magnus, who smiled. “Alright,” he said in English, “Training starts tomorrow night at 10. If you aren't there bye 10 on the dot, then it will be double the work when you finally do show up,” then he turned to leave, “I'm going back to the DuMort now, you don't have to come with me, but keep in mind that the sun sets later since it is Summer. Which means you'll have less time to get to the DuMort before training.” He looked over his shoulder at Simon.

“I'll be there before sunrise,” Simon promised, “I just have somethings to-”

“I've already gathered your things from your house, claiming that I was your new roommate from uptown,” Raphael interrupted. Simon smiled slightly.

“How efficient,” he said.

“Yes, it was,” Raphael replied easily, “Take your time, there's still five hours till sunrise.”

And with that, Raphael left, and no Simon would not admit that he checked out Raphael's ass a little bit. Luke took the clue first and gave Simon a hug.

“Don't be a stranger,” he said when he pulled away. Simon smiled and saluted, not quite how he used to act but..... Luke smiled back.

Magnus pardoned himself to walk Luke to the door and smiled encouragingly at Jace and Simon. Simon finally turned to Jace, who was looking at his feet, worrying his lip. Simon sighed, despite not having taken a breath in. (He was getting better at that.)

“Jace, I wanted to say that I missed you guys. You and Clary. And Izzy. Hell, even Alec a little bit, the stubborn son of a bitch,” Simon said with a smile. Jace looked at him and smiled slightly out of the corner of his mouth.

“It's been rough for us, not knowing if you were okay,” Jace admitted, “Clary has been.... hell, _I've_ been distracted. I'm glad that you're okay Simon.” Jace took a step towards Simon. Simon heard Jace's heartbeat speed up. Simon remembered how it had been fast the day he left.

“Thanks Jace,” Simon said quietly, he smiled gently and put a hand on Jace's arm. “I promise to stay more in touch.”

“If the vampire's mistreat you Simon....” Jace started saying, putting his hand on Simon's. He hesitated, Simon felt Jace's heartbeat spike. And then Jace stepped away from Simon's touch, dropping his own hand to his side. “You know where to go.”

“Thank you Jace,” Simon smiled sadly, finally knowing what was happening with Jace's heartbeat. If only he'd known sooner. “Be safe.”

Jace just nodded, studying Simon's face for a second before spinning on his heeled boots and walking out the door.

An hour later, Simon was walking into the Hotel DuMort with a bottle of bloodwine from Magnus and a feeling that this was the right path to be taking.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOOoo another chapter is FINALLY up. We explored a bit more of Simon's struggle with his vampirism and Simon figured out Jace's crush AND incase you were wondering here's the Spanish to English via Google Translate translations.  
> El Cazador: The Hunter  
> Por lo tanto, mi bella incipiente ha decidido volver a casa? : So, my beautiful fledgling has decided to come home? 
> 
> Well I hope you like it! Don't worry, we'll eventually get to some Saphael.


	3. At the Hotel DuMort

Simon grinned at Raphael gently from the foyer of the hotel. Raphael didn't let his mouth betray him, but his eyebrows lifted slightly. He saw the others glare at Simon, but Simon just ignored them and turned back to his laptop. It made Raphael want to smile a bit. Simon didn't care what the other vampires thought of him.

Raphael descended the stairs and walked over to the couch that Simon had claimed. Simon had arrived only 20 minutes ago and everyone was getting used to his smell, he still smelled vaguely like Werewolf, Warlock, and Shadowhunter. In other words, everyone was avoiding him because he reeked by their standards.

Raphael figured that Simon didn't even notice, considering that he liked the wolves and had spent a considerable amount of time with them.

“Fledgling,” Raphael greeted in a low voice as he came around to face Simon. Simon's head snapped up to face him and Simon smiled, “I see you found your mundane possessions.”

“Yeah, thanks again for getting them Raphael,” Simon said in a peppy tone. Raphael inhaled deeply and raised his left eyebrow, with a curious look on his face. Simon just looked at him with a dumb grin. _Dios Mio, es un idiota._

“Where's the smell of blood coming from, Fledgling?” Raphael squinted just slightly, most vampires would be giving him whatever he wanted by now in a rushed fashion. But Simon. Simon frickin Lewis just grinned that stupid cute grin of his and chuckled.

“Smells good doesn't it?” He beamed like the fucking sunshine ray that he is. Raphael was sure that he was going to burn from this kid. He frowned at Simon impatiently before sighing heavily and putting his hands on his hips. And he- yes he, Raphael Santiago, feared leader of the New York vampire clan- he fucking smouldered at Simon until the baby vampire finally dropped his smile. “I-I... it's just blood wine. F-from Magnus.”

Raphael finally released Simon from the captivity of his posturing glare, by raising an amused eyebrow and smiling. Then he turned away and beckoned for Simon to get up. “I guess I'll show you to your room. _Ven conmigo, novato.”_

Simon obviously wasn't sure what Raphael was actually saying, but he started fidgeting with his computer and shutting it down. It took a few seconds, but Simon finally started actually getting up. He put his computer in a case and grabbed a few other items from the floor beside where he was sat, including a black glass bottle.

Raphael impatiently waited for Simon to struggle with getting everything balanced before he strode off. He didn't change his gait, letting Simon speed up or slow down to walk right behind him. If this stupid, cute, annoying fledgling was going to cause take up his time, then Raphael could at least be pretentious about how it was done.

Raphael led him through a frightening amount of hallways, taking his time to watch Simon squirm and look around nervously. “ _Estas ridículamente lindo._ ” Raphael commented, in an insulting tone. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Simon twist his lips in response and nearly broke his composure; but he had more self-control than that.

Finally, they got to a particularly dark hallway. The decorations were all steel grey or rusted gold, the walls were black, and the floor was black marble. Raphael led them all the way to the end of the hall, where there was glossy black double doors, he opened both doors at once and walked in. Simon was gazing around the room in awe.

It was a huge, dark, Spanish-chic-with-a-hint-of-Midas's-touch-to-it themed room. The walls were a dark grey, there was a black highly-decorative Captain's Chair with gold leather upholstery in front of a black coffee table inlaid with a gold flower design in front of a black carved fireplace with a steel grey Hispanic-designed mantle clock on it. The bed was on a black frame and had a rustic gold duvet with a variation of intricately embroidered pillows covering nearly half of it. There were three huge paintings in giant golden frames of Spanish Villas on one wall, and it looked like there was doors to a bathroom and closet on one of the other walls. And then there was the giant, gold and crystal chandelier. But the biggest thing was the the black fountain that had Gold sparkling all over it that took up a big part of the room. The room looked so perfect that it didn't even looked lived in.

“Wow,” Simon said airily.

“This is my room,” said Raphael with a satisfied smirk. He waited to see Simon's face fall but Simon just sighed in relief instead.

“Oh thank G-,” Simon sighed with a relieved smile, “I couldn't imagine living in here by myself. I'd probably ruin it.” Raphael's smirk dropped and he raised one eyebrow with a look of judgement.

He spun on his heel and motioned for Simon to follow him. He walked back down the hall till he got to the next hall, which was better lit with lighter decorations. Simon sighed again in relief. Raphael opened the first door on the right that he got to. Simon walked in to see his stuff already sitting on the big bed, his duvet was not going to fit on that bed.

This room was considerably small than Raphael's, and also slightly more colorful. The walls were a navy blue color, there was grey leather couch in front of a black coffee table that had an arrangement of blue and grey shapes as decorations on it. There was an entertainment center against the wall with a big flat screen TV, a stereo system, and a DVD player on it. There was a red bookshelf with only a few things in it and two open doors on either side, one was an empty closet, the other was a fantastic looking bathroom. What looked like they used to be windows had been made into gigantic mirrors, not like the ones in Raphael's room, not elegant. More modern. There was black stripes creating geometric shapes of mirror. A black steel chandelier type lighting fixture hung in the middle of the room, it's light was enough for the entire space.

Simon still thought it was amazing, but it was definitely more tangible than Raphael's royalty suite.

“Alright, this is cool,” Simon stated as he walked farther in, “I'll admit, the color choices are pretty.... well, okay, no, the color choices are good.”

“I have left the majority of the decorating up to you,” Raphael said from the doorway, “I'll have an assortment of bed things sent up for you to choose from since yours are too small. I only request that you not cover the walls with useless posters. Even if I don't have to look at your room everyday, I still require it to be respectable. If you must up posters or your... cult stuff, then you may put it up on the bookshelf and in the closet.”

“Cult stuff?” Simon questioned after a few seconds of silent nodding, he almost sounded offended. Raphael just rolled his eyes and stalked into the room, over to Simon's bed. He picked up one of Simon's posters. It was a World of Warcraft poster with, of course, a scantily clad woman on it.

With that as his answer, Raphael turned on his heel again and walked to Simon's closet. “We will of course,” Raphael spoke quietly, “need to go shopping, as it seems that I accidentally misplaced all your terrible clothes except for a few that your mother insisted were your 'favorite'; which luckily survived the terrible mistake.” Raphael put all of his sarcasm into this, even going as far as putting air quotes around “favorite”, to emphasize his dislike of Simon's fashion choices. Simon wondered if he was truly going to have any choices here. “Of course, everything you need will be bought by the DuMort, since you're one of us now and we can't have you disrespecting the clan reputation.”

Simon supposed this was a backhanded way of Raphael saying that he'll provide for him. So he smiled at the vampire, “Thanks.” He turned back to his possessions and picked up a picture of him and Clary in a new frame. It was the one he'd broken. There was several other items of sentimental nature, and three boxes of books, comic/books, and music books only. There was three more boxes of movies, and one of video games, with his PS4 in a different box. Then there was various posters, a box of t-shirts and a few other spare clothing items that were saved from Raphael's wrath, a few shoes, what was left of his Jewish items, and finally there was a wrapped box.

“What's this?” Simon asked Raphael. But he didn't get a response. He turned to look behind him but Raphael was gone. He frowned but turned back to the wrapped box with curiosity. He unwrapped it and found a note on top of some packaging paper.

_ “Welcome Home Simon.” _

Simon moved aside the paper and found three more smaller boxes. The first one held an actual gold pocket watch inlaid with rubies and engraved with the words, “ **A century is but a year when you're immortal** ”. The second box held a new wallet with a blood red credit card in it. The third box was a brand new cell phone with a note on it that said, “You have a strange ability to get kidnapped, or disappear, or become otherwise incapable of being contacted. Keep this on you at all times or you're going to wish you were staked.- Raphael Santiago” on it. Simon smiled at the small gesture. Of course Raphael would write something like that. He studied the neat handwriting of his new leader. It was concise, but not inelegant.

“How very Raphael,” Simon mumbled. “But oh well. It's nice.” Upon turning on the phone he saw that it already had all his old contacts and lots of new names that he didn't know, he assumed they were all vampires.

A knock on the doorframe got his attention. “Lewis?”

“Yeah.” Simon turned around to face the door, some obscure vampire had shown up with a cart stacked with bed clothes.

“I'm Frank,” the vampire introduced himself with a slightly French accent. Simon nearly laughed, a vampire named Frank.

“Nice to meet you Frank. Did you draw the short straw or is stuff like this your job around here?” Simon asked as he walked over to the vampire and his cart. Frank smiled slightly. His fangs dropped when Simon smiled back and he immediately closed his mouth, Simon saw his hand jerk upwards but Frank stopped himself.

“I uh, I sorta volunteered, but it's also sort of my job as well,” Frank admitted, looking down at his shoes as if he would be blushing otherwise, “I work in room service for the actual hotel a lot and so I work room service over here some. But there were a few of us who could have brought this stuff... I wanted to meet you and see what you were like.” Frank looked completely embarrassed now and Simon felt awkward yet also flattered.

“Well, here I am,” Simon chuckled a bit nervously and rubbed the back of his neck, “I hope I'm not disappointing.”

“I didn't expect this,” Frank admitted, “But you seem nice.” He smiled again and it was Simon's turn to smile at his feet. Frank was interesting. He was taller than Simon, and proportionally built, with black hair and dull green eyes that seemed to sparkle slightly. His gaze was sharply focused on Simon as if he were something interesting to be studied.

Where Raphael made Simon wonder whether he was something gross on the bottom of Raphael's shoe, this Frank made Simon conscious of his short comings in a “I'm not worthy of being interested in” sort of way. “Thank you,” Simon said quietly, he smiled bashfully at the vampire before rapidly turning his attention to the cart of bed cover choices.

He didn't pay attention to Frank's reaction to his abrupt change of focus. Instead he felt the various fabrics, and looked at the color selection. He noticed that one of the duvets was black with a nearly satin looking silver detail. It reminded him of one of Raphael's jackets that he'd visited him at the Jade Wolf in.

“Messuier?” Frank's voice piped up, “Do you like that one?” Simon realized that he'd been fingering for a while, just staring off into space at it as he thought. He nearly panicked and immediately said that yes, he did. Frank smiled, “It's a good choice for your room.” He pulled out that one and some grey sheets to match. “I'll send up some matching pillows for tonight.”

“Oh, thanks Frank,” Simon said, he gave the other vampire one last smile, “It was nice meeting you. Thanks for the stuff.”

“My pleasure. Have a good sleep, it's nearly dawn.” And with that, he left.

Simon set the bed stuff down and went to start pulling boxes off the bed. He wasn't tired, but it needed to be done anyway. Then he made the bed. After that was done, he went to investigate the bathroom. The nice thing about being a vampire was that there was no need to pee or poop, so this bathroom lived up to its name and held only a huge Jacuzzi bath, a shower, and a sink, no toilet.

Simon wanted to take a bath, but he didn't have any nightclothes. Of course he could always sleep in one of the pairs of boxers that survived Raphael. _Why not?_

Simon went back into the bedroom and to his items. He grabbed a CD and put it into the stereo system before picking out a pair of boxers and closing the bedroom door. Then, going back into the bathroom, he left the bathroom door slightly open and started the water as Vinyl Theater started playing in the background.

He soaked in the bath for nearly half an hour.

When he exited the bathroom, toweling his hair and wearing nothing but blue boxers, he froze. Raphael was putting his DVDs onto shelves in the entertainment center. Raphael turned around to face him before Simon had time to react.

Raphael raised an eyebrow and looked Simon up and down, his face otherwise blank. Simon was still frozen, as if Raphael had him pinned to place. Raphael moved around the couch and started walking towards Simon, so far no words had been exchanged.

Raphael came to stand in front of him and crossed his arms over his chest, pointedly looking Simon over again now that he was closer. “You don't look as weak as I had expected you to.” Was Raphael's comment that broke the silence. It also broke whatever had rooted Simon to spot. Simon finished toweling his hair and moved towards the box of his clothes.

“I don't even know how to respond to that,” Simon admitted as he reached down for a t-shirt.

“That's unsurprising,” Raphael muttered, “considering your gaucherie.”

“What does that mean?” Simon asked, offended. Raphael rolled his eyes and returned to his previous position at Simon's entertainment center.

“Social ineptness. Awkwardness.” Raphael picked up a few more movies and put them on the shelf with the others. He looked up at Simon and sighed heavily as Simon started putting on the t-shirt he'd grabbed. Simon assumed it was about the Star Wars font on it. “ _Es unjusto que seas tan lindo y que tu cuerpo se ve tan bien._ ”

Simon had no idea what Raphael had said, but it sounded exasperated. “Sorry,” Simon apologized as he picked up the box and walked towards the closet with it. He heard Raphael mutter something as he walked away but he didn't understand it.

“ _Duerme bien bebé._ ”

Simon turned around when he heard that and zooming noise. Raphael was gone.

“Well, good day to you too,” Simon mumbled. Then he finally noticed. Three big pillows laid on his bed.

“Sleep well Raphael.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ven conmigo, novato : Come with me, newbie.  
> Estas ridículamente lindo. : You are ridiculously cute.  
> Es unjusto que seas tan lindo y que tu cuerpo se ve tan bien. : It is so unfair that you're so cute and your body looks good  
> Duerme bien bebé. : Sleep well baby.  
> Dios mio : My God.  
> Well I hope you liked it!


	4. In Touch

Jace didn't go back to the Institute that night. That would mean facing Clary and all her questions. It would mean seeing the concerned look on Izzy's face. It would mean dealing with Alec's logical answers and knowing gaze.

So instead, after leaving Magnus's feeling like he was losing Simon Lewis for eternity (and honestly, he kinda was), he wandered the streets of Brooklyn. He killed a few demons, ran across a few werewolves who growled at him, and checked in on a few Seelies who ran a Mundane vegan restaurant. He spent the night walking dimly lit streets and jumping fences.

At dawn he started heading back to the Institute, taking his time. Jace let his mind wander back to the stupid vampire who had latched his fangs onto his heart. Who, before turning, had been the first Mundane to see the Institute. Who kept up with the Shadowhunters better than any other Mundie would. He could almost feel Simon's hand in his when he brought him into the Institute, how Simon had tried to twist from his grasp.

“ _Hey, let me go! I'm not even your type man._ ” The idiot had said.

Jace couldn't help but think that his life would be a lot easier if he were in love with Clary like everybody pretended he was. Everyone except Clary, Izzy, and Alec that is. And Magnus, who knew somehow about his feelings.

_“Jace, I wanted to say that I missed you guys. You and Clary. And Izzy. Hell, even Alec a little bit, the stubborn son of a bitch.”_

_“It's been rough for us, not knowing if you were okay. Clary has been.... hell, I've been distracted. I'm glad that you're okay Simon.”_

_“Thanks Jace. I promise to stay more in touch.”_

_“If the vampire's mistreat you Simon.... You know where to go.”_

_“Thank you Jace. Be safe.”_

Be safe, Simon had said. The smile on his face was sadder than Jace ever wanted to see it. The look of realization before the smile was worse though. Because Jace knew that Simon had figured him out.

Simon had figured out how he felt, and had smiled at him as if it were too late.

It probably was, because now that pretentious Spaniard had his claws in him. And Goddammit, Simon might be blind to how the other Vampire feels about him, but Jace wasn't.

The worst part? Jace knew that Raphael would be a better choice for Simon. Eternity is a long time, and it'd be easier for Simon to fall in love with someone he could actually spend it with, instead of a mortal.

It was the worst part, but it also helped in a way. Jace couldn't be happy. But at least Simon could be.

The sun was in the 7:00 position by the time Jace finally got back to the Institute. He walked in and went right to his room, not bothering to go see anyone else. He would let himself mope until he fell asleep, and then, when he woke up, he'd move on.

Unfortunately, Alec was sitting on his bed, arms crossed.

He didn't even have to say anything for Jace to tell him everything. Magnus's argument. Luke's argument. Raphael's angering silence. Simon's appearance and decision. His and Simon's conversation after everyone had left. His walk.

When he was done venting, he felt better. Alec just put a hand on his shoulder.

“So you aren't going to pursue the Vampire?” asked his adopted brother raising a thick eyebrow. Jace hesitated.

“I don't want to ruin his chances with Raphael. Raphael cares so much about him, and as much as I hate it, he's the better choice in this instance,” Jace said, tone depressed. Alec nodded.

“Just don't ruin your chances at happiness Jace.” He stood an headed for the door, “And remember that Simon isn't your future. The Simon you fell in love with is dead, and the one that Raphael loves has just been born. You have a chance to move on here. Find someone new, or find happiness in something else.”

“Wow, wise words love master,” Jace replied sarcastically, “When did you start caring about peoples emotions.”

Alec made it to the door before turning and smirking at him, “I don't. You're miserable to work with when you're depressed.”

Alec left with that and Jace was by himself now.

Perhaps Alec was right. Maybe he could still be happy some way. But not until he'd slept for, like, a solid 8 hours, okay?

* * *

 

Clary and Izzy waited for Alec to come out of Jace's bedroom, they wanted the dirt on what was going on on the bloodsuckers front. They sat on a couch, legs and shoulders touching, Izzy had her hand on Clary's knee an Clary was swirling a dry paintbrush around it.

Alec walked in and saw them, Clary could tell that he very nearly rolled his eyes. She wondered what his problem with her was.

“Simon went to the Hotel DuMort with Raphael to start his vampire training,” Alec said, grabbing a water bottle from the coffee table. He eyed Izzy's hand before watching Clary's face for a reaction.

She wasn't happy. Not one bit. Simon needed to be with her, here. Not with those scumbag bloodsuckers.

“Um, your friend is one of those scumbag bloodsuckers now, little girl,” Alec said, rolling his eyes freely this time. Clary realized that she had said that out loud, “I believe Jace's words were 'He went to be with the people who could help him most. His new family.'.”

“No. I'm Simon's family,” Clary growled, “Not them.”

“No Clary,” Alec sighed, “You're Simon's predator now.”

Clary refused to speak to Alec for the rest of the day and was rather short tempered with Izzy even. Despite how much Izzy tried to pacify her.

When night fell, an alarm sounded in the Institute and Jace (who'd woken up somewhere around 3:00 in the afternoon) and Alec went to go investigate. They returned with two letters from Simon, hand delivered by a Vampire named Frank.

“ _I said that I'd stay in touch._ ” Read the first line. “ _Raphael wants me to work on my handwriting since he claims its bad enough to make his eyes bleed. I asked him how I should practice and he (rather spitefully) asked me to write a letter to the Institute for him. I went ahead and decided to write a personal letter while I was at it._

_My room here at the DuMort his huge and Raphael is letting me choose decorations for most of it as long as I don't put posters up on the walls of the bedroom. And he also is making me go clothes shopping with him. He threw out 90% of my clothes! But the DuMort is paying for it so it really isn't that bad I guess./ Oops, sorry about that little mark there, I'm writing in pen and Raphael just hit me for writing that. Oh, he says I can't make it sound like he's abusing me. He really isn't abusing me and I'm not under duress while writing this, it was more of a l ~~ove tap~~ than a hit I guess. No. Wait. Not a love tap. Damn I'm using pen. THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD USE PENCILS KIDS. Great. Now Raphael is rolling his eyes at me. I'm going to roll my eyes back._

_Abort. ABORT._

_Note: Don't roll your eyes at the leader of the New York Vampire clan when he can see you._

_Anyway._

_I don't actually have anything else to say I guess. Raphael and I will be starting training by the time you get this depending on how fast Frank is, and I'm ready to learn how to be a good vampire I think. Oh well, Raphael says I have to write the letter for him now before he (and I quote) 'Dies of old age, Dios mio, child.'_

_He's rather melodramatic._

_\\__

_He didn't hit me again. Definitely not hitting. And VERY MUCH not a love tap. That was a mistake to write that in the first place. I'm so ashamed that I can't erase that. Anyway._

_Eternally Yours,_

_Simon Lewis_

The other letter was Clan-to-Institute business about territory disputes with the werewolves or something like that, in Simon's hand but using professional language. That was sent for direct review by the Clave.

This letter made Clary a bit happier and she reread it at least four times before letting Jace read it out loud to the other two. Jace gave pause at “love tap” but quickly moved on.

“It's good to know that he's alright,” Izzy said when Jace finished reading it out loud. “It sounds like he's relatively happy at least.”

Clary, in a better mood than before was determined to write him back and pulled Izzy into her room for added dialog. Alec studied Jace's face for a clue to his emotions, but Jace just shrugged at him and suggested that they go spar or something since he slept all day.

* * *

 

At the Hotel DuMort, Simon was finding out exactly how hard it was to use his “super powers” with exactness like Raphael could. He'd already ran into like a million things, accidentally heard someone having sex a few blocks away, and he'd also broken at least twenty swords and/or knives.

And while Raphael was exasperated with him, he told him that he'd done, “Well enough for your first practice, fledgling.” So Simon was fairly happy with his quickly disappearing bruises as he downed a glass of blood with the entire grace of a mosquito. His hearing was still rather sharpened, so he heard the footsteps coming towards the kitchen. “Lewis?” came Frank's voice. Simon turned around, wiping his mouth on his arm.

“Frank! Did you deliver the letters?” Simon asked with excitement. Frank finally appeared at the door and nodded.

“The Shadowhunters do not much appreciate getting visits from Vampires,” Frank commented as he moved past Simon to the fridge, “But Muscular and Blonde appreciated getting your letters.”

“Ah, Jace.” Simon could very easily guess what Frank meant by Muscular and Blonde, “yeah, he asked me to keep in touch.” Frank nodded, his eyes spoke that he knew something, but he held his tongue.

“How was practice?” he asked instead. Simon groaned.

“Oh the things I have to say about Raphael...” Simon started. Frank settled in to listen to the newcomers complaints.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAAT another update? SO SOON?   
> I know I know. I'm full of surprises. I just wanted to get the others in there some.


	5. Every Couple Has Their Arguments (Ours Just Happen To Be About My Bullet Holes)

Simon was a little bit nervous about returning to the Hotel. Because he had pissed off Raphael that evening, and so he went to the werewolves. And then he'd gotten shot, multiple times.

And honestly he wasn't excited to see Raphael's reaction to the bullet holes in his shirt and the smell of werewolf on his skin.

He was so nervous about returning to the hotel that he considered going to Magnus's instead. Or even the institute.

But his feet led him home, and then through the door, and past the foyer, up the stairs. He was on edge the entire time, and the worst part was that literally no one was around. He even used his enhanced hearing to listen for the murmurs of the vampires talking, or their footsteps. But nothing. Zilch. Nada.

He started relaxing as he walked down the corridor to his room. _I guess they all went out._

But he knew as he stopped at his door, it wasn't that easy.

Sure enough, Raphael was sitting, one leg crossed over the other and studying his fingernails, on Simon's silver couch.

“You smell like werewolves and death,” Raphael said not even looking up from his nails.

“I can explain!” Simon said hurriedly, he was still fronzen in the doorway.

“Damn right you can, _de lo contrario voy a tener que besarte, idiota_ ,” Raphael growled. Simon didn't know what he'd said, but it sounded menacing.

“So, after training when you told me I could leave,” Simon started explaining.

“I never said that, _bebé_ ,” Raphael interrupted, switching hands to glare at.

“Okay, your actual words might have been closer to 'Get out of here' but I took it liberally.” Simon shrugged, continuing before Raphael could interrupt again, “In any case, I left and headed to the Jade Wolf, to talk to Luke ya know.”

Raphael actually fucking hissed and was standing in front of Simon in a milisecond. “Why would you want to talk to _el hombre lobo_?” Raphael snarled. Simon was taken aback.

“Because he's like a father to me,” Simon backed up a step, surprise written in his features, “And he said that I could always go to the Jade Wolf if-”

“If you were being abused by me?” Raphael growled. He was angry. Simon shook his head violently.

“No! If I needed a break!” Simon insisted, eyebrows furrowed. Raphael's eyes narrowed, and then his eyes caught Simon's shirt and his expression turned to concern.

“What's this?” Raphael was standing close to Simon again, poking through the holes in Simon's shirt. He looped one of his long fingers in one hole and out another.

“I uh, was helping the wolves with something,” Simon, didn't move away from Raphael this time. He scratched the back of his neck and was surprised by the thought that his heartbeat would be speeding up if he... ya know, still had a heartbeat.

“With what?” Raphael asked calmly, not looking up from the holey t-shirt. He was studying Simon's shirt and the skin underneath it.

“There... there was a-a,” Simon was stuttering now, “A detective that th-thought that Luke was a murderer and found Luke and I talking and confronted us, so we knocked him out and made up this crazy story where I became the murderer that the detective was looking for and had kidnapped the detective and was going to kill him; but then Luke showed up and rescued him by shooting me to death; and then I had to stay in the body bag and since I'm a vampire nobody would know the difference and so that explains the bullet holes and the dead smell and I swear I'm fine, I just had to get the detective off Luke's back.” Simon's rambling finally ended and he just kinda huffed a laugh and looked nervously at Raphael.

“ _Gracias a Dios que no está herido, su piel ya ha sanado_ ,” Raphael mumbled to himself. Finally he looked up at Simon and scowled. “You're an idiot.”

“I know, I know, but I did save your jacket,” Simon smiled nervously, “So there's that.” Simon shrugged and Raphael squinted at him, looking down at his bullet ripped shirt.

“You're so stupid, fledgling,” He sighed, “ _Me importa más de ti que yo acerca de mi chaqueta._ ” Raphael turned away and walked back to the couch.

“I uh, I haven't fed,” said Simon, “So, I guess I'll go... do that.” Raphael looked over sharply.

“You haven't fed?” He asked unhappily, “ _Dios Mio_!” Raphael through his hands up in the air, “I swear, Nephilim are less air headed than you.”

“Look, I left right after training okay. Then I went to a _Chinese restaurant_ where I _couldn't eat a singular fucking thing_. Then I had to pretend to be a homicidal maniac. It's been a pretty busy night okay?” Simon huffed, getting irritated with Raphael in a proverbial heartbeat, and turned away, “Now can I go eat or do you need to come with me and hold my hand since I obviously can't do anything myself since I'm _utterly incompetent and useless_ otherwise.” Simon sneered, starting to walk towards the door. Raphael started to respond but Simon zoomed out of the room before he could say anything.

Raphael sat there for a second, staring at the door, “I'm sorry, Simon, I didn't mean any of that.” He mumbled to himself. Slowly, he meandered out of Simon's room and started thinking about how to make it up to him.

* * *

 

Clary looked down at her cell phone, the text from Simon saying what time to come to the Hotel.

“Clarissa Farechild,” Raphael growled deeply into her ear, Clary jerked away from the noise, having not previously noticed his presence, “What brings you around my home?” Raphael raised an eyebrow and one side of his mouth in a near snarl.

“I um, I wanted to bring something over, for Simon,” Clary said, her hand was twitching near her side and Raphael caught sight of a silver knife.

“Oh please tell me you're going to attack me that way I have an excuse to kill you,” Raphael sneered, but there wasn't any actual poison in his words. In fact, he seemed rather out of it, he wasn't focusing on her completely.

“What's wrong with Simon?” Clary asked, Raphael jerked in response, glaring at her with real venom now.

“There's nothing wrong with Simon, why would you even ask that?” Raphael growled, getting up in her face, “I thought you were his _amiga_ ,” Raphael seemed really agitated and Clary uncharacteristically backed down.

“What? No! I wasn't asking it like that! You just seemed worried about something and I just automatically thought something had happened to Simon,” Clary defended herself, keeping her hand away from her knife. Raphael seemed to deflate a little bit, but still growled at her again.

“I'm not worried about anything,” he grumbled, “You and your stupid friend are idiots. It's giving me such a headache that I didn't even know I could be in this amount of pain.” The face he made was a hollow one of disgust, even Clary could see past it.

“You're a really bad liar,” Clary pointed out, “So, can I see Simon?” Raphael sighed heavily as if her very existence was the cause of his life's struggles. He raised his eyes up to the heavens as if Saint Mary would come down from God's abode herself and slap this bitch.

“I can't really keep you from doing what you want, can I?” Raphael gave her his best passive aggressive sigh, “It hasn't worked well for anyone else.” Raphael waved his hand vaguely at the Hotel behind him. He started walking away into the night.

“Wait, where are you going?” Clary demanded.

“To drowned my sorro-headache in blood infused alcohol,” Raphael waved vaguely again, correcting himself barely.

Clary watched him saunter away, confusion being her main emotion. She wondered what his problem was.

She entered the hotel with extreme caution, knowing that the last time she was here hadn't gone well.

“Simon?” She called, she pulled her cell phone, looking at the time.

“Clary!” Simon zoomed up beside her with a grin, “I heard your heartbeat a while ago. Did it take that long for you find the door?” His tone is so.... him, but his words were so foreign. So Raphael.

He looked the part of a vampire, his fashion sense had improved impossibly, his skin was even paler than it used to be, but without its old imperfections, and his eyes had darkened slightly. It worked for him.

“Raphael was outside. He... he was being himself,” Clary shrugged, “Grumpy, narcissistic, projective.”

“Projective?” Simon laughed, “What do you mean by that?” He started walking away from the hall, motioning for her to come with him. Clary smiled at his positive attitude. She'd missed it.

“I think he must be having some Clan troubles or something and was projecting his issues onto your interactions with him,” She shrugged. Simon hesitated. His smile faltered but then he was back to 100 watt Simon in half a heartbeat.

“Ahh so the usual then,” He said carelessly as if nothing could touch him. Clary stopped and Simon did too when he noticed. “What?”

“Oh my god, are you two fighting?” She asked incredulously, trotting to his side and grabbing his arm conspiratorially. Simon pulled his arm away and rolled his eyes.

“Oh course not!” He scoffed. He was worse at lying than Raphael had been.

“You _are_ fighting! Oh my god Simon, what happened?” Clary pulled him to face her. Simon rolled his eyes again.

“It was nothing. Something stupid that had to do with Vampire Ego and my 'Mundane' habits,” Simon shrugged it off but put air quotes and heavy amounts of sarcasm around the word Mundane.

“ _Simon_ ,” Clary whined for more details. Simon sighed heavily.

“So I've been hanging out with Luke a lot right?” Simon said as he started walking farther into the hotel, “Well last night I had left to go to the Jade Wolf after training. Luke and I were just talking about stuff ya know, and then this Detective comes in accusing Luke of being the Demonic Killer. So Luke and I, we knock him out and make up this story where I become the demonic killer. We tie up this detective and I act like I'm about to drain him when Luke shows up guns blazing and saves the guy by shooting me to death.”

“Did it work?”

“Oh yeah! It was fine! Until I got home and Raphael blew up at me for getting shot and not eating, and then I blew up at him about him blowing up at me.”

“All things you should avoid doing,” Clary said with a smirk. Simon groaned.

“I know he's right, and I know that he knows that I know he's right but I just want him to trust me a little more,” Simon admitted, rubbing his face. Clary nodded and smiled at him.

“Maybe you should start by apologizing? Then try a little harder at taking care of yourself. Not getting shot is a good way to start,” Clary suggested, a fond smile on her lips.

“Yeah,” Simon sighed before smirking at her, “So, changing the subject, did you bring it?”

Clary smiled brightly, “I did,” she nodded before smirking, “but you have to show me your new room first.”

Simon agreed and led her through the hotel until they got there. Then they talked all night. They talked about Simon's training, and about how finding the cup was going; about the Envoy from the Clave, and about Clary's growing crush on Isabelle. They talked till nearly sunrise and Clary had to head back to the Institute.

Clary hugged Simon good bye, a warm feeling in her heart for having her best friend back again.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! I'm back! Please Enjoy the chapter and correct my translations if you can.
> 
> de lo contrario voy a tener que besarte, idiota = otherwise I'll have to kiss you, idiot  
> el hombre lobo = the werewolf   
>  Gracias a Dios que no está herido, su piel ya ha sanado = Thank God you are not hurt, your skin has healed  
> Me importa más de ti que yo acerca de mi chaqueta = I care more about you than I do about my jacket


	6. This Feels Like Falling in Love

Raphael was getting ready for bed. He'd already gone through most of his routine.

Step 1. Roll eyes at Clan problems and promise to take care of it the next night.

Step 2. Take care of the problem anyway.

Step 3. Roll eyes at Simon.

Step 4. Try not to let Simon know how you feel.

Step 5. Go to room and get undressed.

Step 6. Put on pajama pants

And that was about where he was right now. He still had to brush his teeth and clean his fangs, but that was where he was heading right now.

Until there was a knock on the door. He sighed, expecting it to be Elliot of Lily, since nobody else would normally be able to sneak up on him. Then again, he was slightly buzzed. Not _intoxicated_ just pleasantly uninhibited. Which was probably why he opened the door without putting a shirt on.

Simon Lewis tried not to gape. Raphael could see his mouth working to get out some words that had died on his lips. He saw the tip of Simon's fangs and his ~~intoxicated~~ \- pleasantly uninhibited stated let him smirk at that.

“Yes _bebé?”_ Raphael smiled, leaning on the door a bit.

“Are you drunk?” Simon asked bluntly, but even ~~drunk~~ buzzed Raphael didn't miss the way that Simon looked him over, “You smell like magic and alcohol.”

“No,” Raphael said, frowning, “I'm fine. _¿Qué estás haciendo aquí?_ ”

“What?”

“What are you doing here?” Raphael repeated in English, leaning a bit harder on the door. Simon bit his lip, only then realizing his fangs were down and covering his mouth accordingly.

“I wanted to apologize,” he said behind his hand, “But maybe I shouldn't do that when your drunk.” Raphael rolled his eyes and crossed his arms ( ~~nearly falling off the door~~ ).

“I'm not drunk, _mi querido amor_ ,” Raphael insisted. Even with his limited knowledge of Spanish, Simon would have to be stupid to not know what “amor” is.

“What?” Simon lowered his hand and stared at Raphael in confusion.

“I said I'm not drunk,” Raphael huffed in irritation.

“Yeah yeah yeah, but what did you say after that?” Simon asked hurriedly. Raphael frowned and concentrated. Then his eyebrows lifted. He looked at Simon with clarity and said.

“I didn't say anything after that, _idiota_.”

“GAHH!” Simon groaned and nearly bashed his head on the door frame frustration. “Fine. Fine... I'm sorry for yelling at you and not taking care of myself. I'll do better okay?” Simon gave Raphael one last look before turning around, “I'll see you in the evening.”

Raphael watched him go, the edges of his gaze were a bit blurry, but Simon's retreating ~~ass~~ \- I mean... back, were sharp. He sighed and turned back to his room. He hoped that Simon forgot what he'd let slip.

Raphael fell face first into bed and fell asleep. Forgetting, for the first time in years, to finish his nightly routine.

* * *

 

Raphael didn't wake up well, he was slower than usual, which meant that his blood was trying to recover from having too much alcohol in it. He meandered to the kitchen to get some blood and walked in on Frank and Elliot giggling about something.

“Buenos dias, Raphael, “Elliot greeted him, crossing his arms with a smug look.

“ _Buena tarde que el bolso inútil de mierda,_ ” Raphael muttered back. Frank smirked at Elliot and translated for the English speaking vampire.

“He said 'Good evening you useless bag of shit'.” Frank chuckled before turning back to Raphael, “Drank a bit too much _mon capitaine?_ ”

“Go to Hell Francis,” Raphael growled as a response. Frank nodded knowingly at Elliot.

“I heard someone accidentally professed his love to a certain fledgling last night,” Elliot teased. Raphael looked up at him in confusion, “Or does our brave leader forget?”

“I did what?” Raphael growled. Frank sipped his warm blood and smiled to placate his leader.

“Last night, Simon came to your room to apologize for arguing with you and you ended up calling him your 'amor' and honestly, not even Simon could miss that. English may be his only language, but pretty much everybody knows what amor means,” Frank explained gently, “You were fairly intoxicated.”

“I wasn't drunk,” Raphael muttered, “ _Dios mio,_ I didn't even drink that much.”

“Magnus called to make sure that you got home okay,” Elliot snorted into his drink, “He said that you weren't exactly in a perfect state of mind.”

“I wasn't drunk,” Raphael growled again as he turned to leave, a glass of blood finally secured.

He left the muttering vampires, that he could hear very clearly every word they said and they knew that, and headed for his office. He could hear the scratching of a pen on paper as he walked up to the door. His eyebrows reflected the confusion that his face denied.

Walking in, he saw Simon Lewis sitting on one of the other chairs next to his desk, writing intently.

“Evening Raphael,” Simon said, while he finished the sentence he was writing. He finally looked up and smiled brightly. It was like looking into the sun with a hangover. Incredibly painful, but a relief at the same time. Especially after what apparently happened last night.

“ _Hola_ ,” Raphael greeted back eventually, moving to sit behind his desk. “What are you doing Simon?” Simon smiled at him again and showed him the letter he was writing.

“Luke had some members of the pack who weren't exactly fond of me visiting so much, as they were afraid that I was a spy or would lead to more and more Vampires encroaching pack territory. I'm just writing a letter that assures that I don't mean anything of the sorts and I was hoping that you would write a similar letter to insure better relations between our clan and their pack. Since I've been spending so much time with werewolves, you know, I've become more aware of their complaints about the Night Children, most of which are completely earned by the way. I think that we should try to extend better pleasantries with the Lycanthropes in order to easily make an alliance should anything more develop with Valentine. So I've decided to start it,” Simon beamed after he finished his rather rambling explanation, “As long as you approve of course.”

Raphael didn't reply at first, he looked over the letter and noticed the professionalism shown in it. He was impressed. He looked up at Simon and smiled slightly.

“Of course I approve,” he said. Simon's face lit up. “As long as you seem so interested in the wolves, why don't you become an Ambassador to the Werewolves, or just an Ambassador in general. I'll have to run it by the clan first, but...” Simon's face had frozen and he looked at Raphael in shock.

“You... You would trust me to be an Ambassador?” Simon stuttered out. Raphael ~~nearly~~ rolled his eyes, but nodded slowly.

“You're one of those annoying types who believes in equality,” he explained slowly, “but, you're good at diffusing situations, and you've already put your life at risk for their leader. If I train you in some Politics than I'm sure you'll be a very good Ambassador.” He finished with a vague wave of the hand. Simon was smiling again.

“Wow, thanks Raphael. I'll do my best, and I won't let myself get pushed around by the Werewolves I promise,” he said excitedly.

“Finish your letter, I'll write mine later this night,” Raphael shrugged.

“I was... I was wondering when are we going to train tonight?” Simon asked, his voice suddenly soft and insecure. Raphael raised an eyebrow at the sudden change.

“We can train in an hour if you want,” he said. Simon nodded, staring off into space at his letter.

“Do you-.... do you want to maybe go on a walkafterwardsmaybe?” the last bit came out really fast, but even in his sluggish state, Raphael understood what was asked.

“I suppose,” he replied quietly. Simon smiled up at him again.

“Really?”

“Do you want to keep asking me questions to see how quickly my answer changes, or do you want to finish your letter before I change my mind?” Raphael sighed heavily and Simon snapped his head back to his letter. But Raphael could see the smile on Simon's face and couldn't help a fond one of his one.

“ _Me sorprende que usted ha hecho el primer movimiento. Pero estoy feliz de haberlo hecho._ ”

Simon looked up, almost surprised. Whatever Raphael had said was said in a gentle, almost loving tone. But then Raphael looked away from him, face all business, and got started reading clan complaints.

“Thanks Raphael,” Simon whispered softly, knowing that Raphael heard him clearly but relieved that Raphael only hummed in response.

Raphael was beaming on the inside, but he couldn't let Simon know that could he?

 _Dios_ he was so far gone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLA!   
> ¿Qué estás haciendo aquí?= What are you doing here?  
> Me sorprende que usted ha hecho el primer movimiento. Pero estoy feliz de haberlo hecho.= I'm surprised that you have made the first move. But I'm happy you did.  
> I hope you liked it!!!! A bit fluffy. ANd also, DRUNK RAPHAEL amirite?


	7. WHACKED TOGETHER LIKE ALEC'S PATIENCE

Raphael had no idea where they were going, but Simon was leading the way fairly confidently, so he didn't worry too much. Okay. That was a lie. He had no idea where they were going, Simon was exuding a small facade of confidence and wasn't telling Raphael anything, and Raphael was getting more and more nervous the longer it was taking.

“Almost there,” Simon mumbled, he suddenly grabbed Raphael's hand… well… He jumped. Raphael nearly pulled him down, but managed to exercise what little was remaining of his trust for the fledgling and jumped with him.

Raphael found himself landing in a little courtyard of a sorts and discovered there to be a gorgeous Spanish rose alcove. With the moon shining down on it it was obvious that the courtyard used to be a well kept beauty, but now it was a wild, overgrown beauty. There was a broken empty fountain in the middle of the courtyard, and a patio at one end. With the trees and the high stone walls, even though it wasn't that far from a very busy part of the city, it was quiet.

Simon had released his hand and was walking over to the old fountain. He was looking around like it was an old dream. Raphael was caught at how the moonlight lit on Simon.

“Where are we?” He asked, walking over to the fledgling.

“Jocelyn took me here once. I don't remember how I got in with her, but I remember that Clary was at Dot’s while Jocelyn was taking me home from their house because Clary had gotten mad at me about something. Jocelyn brought me in here and sat me here on this fountain. She told me that some times people do silly things and when she wanted to get away from the silliness and take a breath with those she cared about. Said that the designer of this garden made sure that it would always be a place made for love and relaxation. She told me that someday I should buy this building from the rich man who puts no effort into it so that I can always have a Paradise.” Simon looked over at Raphael. “I found out that one of Magnus’s friends owned it. He and I are working on negotiations.”

Raphael's mind went blank except for one thought that stole his proverbial breath away. _Simon was leaving him._

“Do you… Are you not happy at the DuMort?” He cleared his throat, turning away. He heard Simon take a deep breath like the amateur he was.

“I'm not not happy,” Simon stuttered, muttering a curse word in obvious aggravation, “Crap, that's not what I meant.... ugh.” Raphael turned back to see Simon sitting on the fountain with his head in my hands.

He tried to slow down his racing anxiety at his beloved fledgling leaving him. He walked a bit closer acting stronger than the inner shaking he felt. “What do you mean then?” he asked, he knew his voice was rough. But if Simon was leaving him, no show of weakness would be used to beg him home.

“It came out all wrong okay?” Simon looked up at Raphael, frustrated, “I _am_ happy at the DuMort. It's my home now, I love living there.”

“Then why.....” Raphael trailed off, gesturing vaguely at the garden around them. The previously beautiful space seemed intimidating now, like it was taunting him.

_Ha ha ha! I'm going to steal the one you love just because I can! HA!_

Oh, wait. Simon had been explaining whilst Raphael had been glaring at the un-sentient plant life. Quick, does one pretend they heard the whole thing or ask a second time?

“Did you hear anything I just said or does someone still need to work on their super-hearing?” Simon broke Raphael's stressed reverie.

“ _Lo siento_ ,” Raphael bowed his head gently, “I got lost in thought I guess.” Simon smiled at him.

“I'll just shorten what I said then,” He finally spoke, “If all goes well then I can start the process of buying this place as a sort of vacation home for the New York Vampire Clan's leader and ambassadors.” Simon smirked slightly as realization dawned slowly. “In between vacations though, yours truly will live at the Hotel DuMort to perform his Vampiric duties.”

“ _Tu idiota_ ,” Raphael rolled his eyes. “I thought you were going to leave us!” _I thought you were going to leave_ _me_. Raphael came to sit with Simon on the fountain and admire the beauty. Both Simon's and the garden's.

Simon looked Raphael right in the eye and smiled lovingly.

“Never.” He whispered.

Alec sighed as Magnus had to repeat his instructions to Clary _again._ Of course his the Warlock was patient as ever with the red-head, but Alec was more impatient than even Izzy on this one.

“Are you almost done?” Izzy asked in a whiny voice. Then again, at least Alec wasn't boasting his impatience out loud. Maybe Izzy wanted an impatience competition; with the way she kept smirking at him, it was entirely likely.

“At least you get to get out of here with your girlfriend when this is done,” Alec stage-whispered to her, “I have to stay here with the High Pain in the Ass of Brooklyn until everything is cleaned up and the bread is done.” Magnus shot Alec a sharp glare from the other side of Clary's canvas.

“Would you two hold still,” Clary interfered with Magnus and Alec's bickering. They'd been doing this all afternoon.

“Sure, I can hold still,” Alec grumbled from where literally the only thing he's moved was his mouth and his eyes, which were rolling. “I can hold so still you'll think I'm dead.”

“Oh wait, that's cause we will be dead,” Izzy supplied, “Dead of boredom.” For the first time in the last 2 years Alec thanked the Angel for Izzy's sarcasm.

“It won't be that hard to clean up Alexander,” Magnus supplied, “It's only a bit of recreation.”

From where Alec was draped on an old fashion chaise, dressed in hardly anything, and from where Izzy was knelt by his arm in warrior's position (also hardly dressed but enjoying it a hell of a lot more than Alec was) it looked like Magnus's kitchen was a huge mess and that the working space around Clary was just as bad.

“I hate every single one of you,” Alec growled, not moving his face from its carefully chosen expression.

“What did I do?” Jace's voice came from the door. Alec shifted his eyes and was immediately chastised with a “Don't move!” from both Clary and Magnus.

“Not be here to share my pain in the entire uselessness of this situation,” Alec grit out. He liked Magnus, really he did. But honestly, he'd been testy AND annoying all day. “I've got stuff that needs to be done.”  
“Oh darling,” Magnus cooed bitterly, “I made sure your schedule was clear with Jace before I asked you over here.”

A quiet, “Shit.” could be heard in Jace's voice.

“That's it,” Alec sighed, “I'm moving in with Simon.”

“Hold still Alec.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YA'LL I'M NOT DEAD! Sorry this chapter sucks. Trying to get back into the swing of writing and I'm gonna be very busy for a while so.....  
> I don't really think there's any Spanish that ACTUALLY needs translating but....  
> Lo siento= I'm sorry  
> tu idiota= you idiot.
> 
> ALRIGHT SO I TAGGED ON SOME EXTRA FUNNINESS AT THE END and I know it was lame butt........ AnyWHO tell me what ya think in the comments!


	8. Broken Heart, Broken Love

_Home was gone. The place where I'd finally found love after being turned. My love is gone. Raphael...._

Simon cried. He was genuinely sobbing. Clary had just looked at him sympathetically and patted his shoulder as she ran off to see her mom again. Like Simon couldn't. He was crumpled up outside the Institute, seeing as he couldn't go _into_ the Institute. Nor could he go back to the Hotel.

Hell, even Magnus wasn't talking to him, and Luke was just as wrapped up with Jocelyn as Clary was. Luke had given a weak offer of ripping the hotel to shreds before running off after Simons rejection.

The only person who hadn't acted any different around him, after his betrayal of the vampires, was Camille. And she'd run off with his blood signature stating that she was free of guilt.

Simon curled in on himself even harder, biting his hand, fangs down, to try and stop himself from crying.

_Despicable. Useless. Traitor._ _**Monster** _ _._

He felt the same as he did when he was first turned, only this time he could only blame himself.

“Jace is gone.” Alec sat down beside the vampire as if said vampire wasn't literally biting through his own hand. Simon didn't respond, only bit harder. He didn't consume his own blood, he knew that that was despicable, and not allowed in the vampire community.

“He went to Valentine.” Alec sat back, leaning his head against the tree next to Simon. “And took Hodge with him.”

“Why are you telling me this,” Simon growled, finally releasing his poor hand.

“Because Jace left for selfish reasons, to find Valentine for himself. You left them because of your loyalty to Clary, because her and Jocelyn and Luke's happiness was more important to you than your own,” Alec said, still not clearing everything up, “I'm saying that at least you didn't betray the ones who love you for selfish reasons.”

“Didn't I though,” Simon laughed humorlessly, “I've always done what Clary asked. No matter what. Out of a selfish need of making her happy. Raphael has done nothing but the best for me. But just this one time. This _one_ time, Raphael denies me something I ask, and- because it's Clary- I take it anyway. I commited the deepest act of betrayal I could. How unsurprising.”

“You think it was inevitable?” Alec questioned, looking over at Simon. He saw Simon's self loathing sneer.

“Yeah. I think it was inevitable. And somehow that makes it worse,” Simon picked at his fang and teeth marks on his hand, “And looking back, I think everyone else knew it was inevitable as well.”

“So what are you going to do.”

“I'm going to do what Jace did,” Simon muttered, “I'm going to run away from the people who love me in order to face this myself.”

Alec said nothing, just stood up and dropped a bag at Simon's feet.

“I got these from what was left over at your's and Luke's houses. There's also money and a few careffs of blood in there. Stay alive Simon.”

Alec strode back into the Institute without another word.

Simon looked down at the duffle bag and wiped his tears.

He knew exactly where to go.

* * *

 

At the Hotel DuMort, Frank was standing outside Simon's room. He could hear the sobbing from outside the hotel, and, standing next to the room, it was nearly deafening. The screaming and sobbing that no one would admit to knowing was coming from Raphael.

Everybody was supposed to be gone anyway, looking for Camille.

There wasn't any crashing or slamming, it didn't sound like Raphael was breaking anything.

While Frank was deep in his thoughts, Raphael yanked the door open, except for the red eyes and even paler complexion, there wasn't any proof that there'd been anything wrong.

“ _¿Qué deseas?_ ” Raphael growled, stalking forward.

“Do you want me to take his stuff out of the-” Frank started to offer.

“NO.” Raphael growled again, tone even deeper. “Now go away.”

Frank did as he was told.

And if he heard Raphael tearing his room, and eventually his office as well, apart.... Well, nobody needed to know that. Did they?

* * *

 

Raphael sat at the end of his torn up bed, looking at what remained of his fountain.

_How could he? How_ _**could** _ _he?!_

Raphael fisted his eye to stop any tears that were threatening to fall. He tried to tell himself that he would stop crying. He tried telling himself to hate Simon. He tried telling himself that he'd never even _loved_ that traiterous fledgling.

But, as good as he was at denial, he couldn't lie to himself like this.

He could even blame Simon and _still_ not hate him for betraying them.

And he'd ordered him _killed._

It couldn't hurt to at least find out what happened to him after they fled right?

Raphael found his phone [magically intact thanks to Magnus (no, literally, magic was involved in making his poor phone shatter proof)]. He stared at Simon's contact for a full five minutes before scrolling to Magnus's.

Magnus picked up on the 4th ring.

“What is it?” he asked in irritation.

“Are they okay?” Raphael asked, his voice sounded broken, even to him.

“I want to make a comment like 'yes, no thanks to you.' but you sound like you're doing worse than they were,” The warlock's voice was soft and sympathetic, “Clary feels sorry for Simon, but seems to think that she'll be able to replace an entire clan's worth of connection for him; otherwise, she's mostly concerned with her mother, whom I have successfully awoken. Isabelle seems largely unaffected by what happened but you don't care about her. Camille has managed to worm a signature of pardon out of Simon in exchange for what we needed to wake up Jocelyn and is gone in the wind. And Simon is uninjured and probably wishing he was just to feel some form of punishment for what he's done. Last time I saw him he looked dazed, like he was reliving every tramatic experience he's ever gone through. And Alec just came in before you called and said that Simon has left for somewhere safer for him.”

“I was in his room a little bit ago,” Raphael whispered through the phone, “I couldn't even damage a single stupid t-shirt. All I feel is pain and anger, but I can't hate him. I can't even be as upset at him for betraying us as I should be. I'm more angry with myself for practically ordering his execution.”

“Simon told Alex that it was inevitable, his betrayal of you. He said that everybody knew it. Everyone knew he'd do anything for Clary, no matter what, and they still trusted him. He said that that made it worse if possible,” Magnus hummed. “I don't know if I can give you any advice Raph. What's happened... it seems pretty irreversable.”

“I know.” Raphael said softly, “I can only hope for the best, and try to keep them off his trail.”

“I'll let you know if I hear anything else about Camille,” Magnus promised and then hung up. Raphael sniffled, his anger was gone. They only feeling left in him was complete and utter emptiness.

The smokey tendrils of depression curled around him and he fell asleep in the middle of the night. __

* * *

Simon sat in the empty house.

How fitting, the place where he first showed his true monsterous nature is where he turned for sanctuary after the most monsterous mistake he'd ever made. The police had made and finished a full investigation on the missing family and now the house was just an empty shell of what it was last time he was here. There was no tv or furniture.

Simon was sat cross legged in the middle of the floor. Thinking about how he probably needed to go out and steal some supplies to make this house safe for him. The hunger gnawing at his stomach was welcomed.

It made him feel miserable.

Perfect.

Its the least he deserved.

Simon looked at his phone and the bag of supplies, the only possessions he had. He had a few t-shirts in there, money, an mp3 player, some books, 4, 12 liter, coffee careffs of blood, and a picture of Clary, Jocelyn, and Luke.

He needed to get some blankets, probably a sleeping bag and pillow, maybe some knives. Or wood maybe, for the windows.

He'd save the blood for when he was about to die of hunger. __

God he missed Raphael so much.

* * *

 

Getting a text from Simon was surprising, Jace looked at his phone. It was a picture of Simon in front of a boarded up window.

**> > Suddenly a handy man. Ya proud of me?**

Simon wasn't even smiling he looked... well... dead inside.

**< < What the hell? Why did you board up a window? **

Jace sent as a reply. He looked down at his food from where he was hiding on the deck of the ship. He had a grand amount of food. A whole total of one apple and bunch of grapes. He wasn't hungry.

**> > Oh just, ya know, tryin to avoid death. Just the usual getting hunted down by the clan. All that Jazz. What are you up to?**

Jace frowned at his phone.

**< < What the hell is that text Simon? The Clan's trying to kill you?**

** >>..... You're avoiding the question, Jace.**

** << YOU'RE avoiding the question.**

** >> Nah uh. I asked first. **

** << I'm eating.**

** >> ?? What??**

** << An apple. Why are you being nosy?**

** >> Got nothing better to do. I'm hiding out and the house is completely empty of anything.**

** << Yeah, okay, but the clan's trying to kill you?**

** >> Yeah, apparently freeing the oppressive leader, that they'd over thrown, for Clary was considered “traitorous”. I mean, I was hoping to escape without Raph ordering my death. But..... I did really piss him off.**

** << By the angel.... You're okay?**

** >> Well, I'm emotionally destroyed and completely pissed off at myself but yeah.**

** << That sucks. But you're not the only traitor I guess. I went after Valentine on my own and now I'm supposed to be on his side I guess. I don't know, he keeps treating me like I'm on his side.**

** >> Yeah. Alec told me. He's pretty pissed. **

** <<....**

** >> Anyway. I better go steal some blankets or something so I don't die when the sun comes up.**

** << Stay safe Simon.**

** >> Don't die Jace.**

Jace looked at the last text from Simon and then looked up into the starry sky. He hoped that Simon would make it through this as much as he hoped that Valentine wouldn't.

* * *

 

Alec and Magnus sat on a couch, respective drinks in respective hands, books in the other. Izzy was with Clary, Jocelyn, and Luke.

“Hows Simon?” Magnus asked softly.

“He found a place and has made it safe for him. Raphael?”

“Upset at himself more than Simon. Hopefully Camille can be found and either killed or returned to the Vampires before the manhunt for Simon gets to far.”

“Mmm,” Alec hummed, setting his tea on the table beside the couch and switching the book to the other hand, his now free hand came up to grip Magnus's shoulder, “Hopefully.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops. Angst.  
> Angst happens.   
> Or at least it did this time.  
> OKEY DOKEY!   
> So, shit happened. I switched POV several times. But HEY. ANyway.   
> Have some feels.


	9. Bond

Simon woke up that night to a familiar scent. Werewolf, Magic, and Angel. He looked around the dark house and frowned at the three ashamed looking people. Well... actually, just two. Magnus was looking fine, like normal.

“What do you want,” Simon whispered, his voice was gravelly.

Luke bit his lip and looked at Jocelyn.

Wait....

Jocelyn?

“Jocelyn,” Simon sat up quickly, surprise on his normally expressionless face.

“Hi Simon,” Jocelyn smiled at him with all the love of a mother, and it made Simon feel more than he had in the three weeks since the... incident. Simon felt overwhelmingly sad and loved at the same time. He jumped up and hugged her tightly.

Even the smell of human blood, even the gnawing of his urge, even that was overcome with the relief to be held and loved.

“Oh my Gaw-” Simon choked.

“Simon,” Jocelyn pulled back and smiled at him, “I'm so happy to see you.” She squeezed his hands, “Clary explained everything that happened to you. I'm sorry about the loss of your clan. You shouldn't have had to endure that pain, especially just for me.”

“No,” he choked out, “You of all people are worth losing any happiness I once had.”

“And what about now?” She asked, hopefulness so like a mother's love. Simon's smile faded slightly.

“This is the most happiness I've had since before I betrayed them,” Simon admitted, “I've basically just been making myself survive, day to day.” Jocelyn's face turned sad.

“You... you're depressed.” She pulled him back into a hug, “They were your family, and you betrayed them for me.”

“No!” Simon pulled back, “I betrayed them because I had to. I knew I could never have my family again, but at least Clary could. And, you've always been like a mom to me. Having you back would be like having a family. Even if I've lost two already.” Simon's smile was sad and his eyes conflicted.

“What are you going to do now?”

“I've been making preparations to leave New York,” Simon admitted softly, “With Raphael's clan here, and Camille in the area.... I can't stay here anymore. I've been thinking about going to Chicago.”

Magnus lifted his hand, “I've got some connections there, I'll ask around to see if there's a clan you can-”

“No,” Simon shook his head, his sad smile still in place, “I don't need a clan. I just need to not be here.”

“What if...” Luke butted in before quieting himself down some, “What if you get killed?”

“All the better for the New York Clan,” Simon mumbled, “It'll be better for everyone that way.” He looked up at them all. Jocelyn looked upset and Magnus was nodding slightly.

“Can you all...” Magnus said softly, “Can you let me have a moment with Sarah.”

“Who?” Jocelyn asked, confused. Simon just waved vaguely.

“Just go wait outside,” Simon said. Jocelyn and Luke nodded, before hesitently going outside.

Magnus played with a ring until they were out.

“What is it?” Simon finally asked.

“Raphael... he's not doing well,” Magnus admitted, he looked in Simon's eyes, “Lilly Chen has contacted me multiple times asking me to convince Raphael to eat, or do something other than stay curled up in his torn apart room.” Simon's heart break could be seen in his eyes. “It would be easier if he could just hate you. But he can't make himself.”

“I wish he could too,” Simon whispered, “I deserve hatred.” Simon moved and slid down a nearby wall, putting his head in his hands.

“No, Camille deserves hatred,” Magnus came and stood by him, “You deserve to know that it wasn't all your fault. She's a manipulative bitch. You're just incredibly loyal to your best friend of your whole life.”

“No. I'm stupid. That's what I am. We could have found another way. We had time...” Simon slammed his hand into the floor, causing the boards to crack and splinter around his fist. “I'm supposed to be the smart, funny guy. The comic relief. How did I turn into the traitor?”

Magnus patted his head, “Aren't feelings so complicated? I'm hundreds of years old, life still manages to throw wrenches into my emotional control.”

“Do you think I'm doing the right thing by leaving. That way Raphael won't be able to sense my prescence? Do you think that will help?” Simon asked, his voice was broken.

“Sense your prescence? You're nowhere near the hotel,” Magnus scoffed, “He couldn't sense your prescence from here.”

“But I can sense his, I can sense how far away from me he is, I can feel his movement. He's pacing right now,” Simon insisted. Mangus looked scared all of a sudden, “What?”

“Simon. Can you feel his emotions by any chance?” Magnus asked quietly.

“I don't think so,” Simon shrugged, “The majority of what I feel is self loathing, anger, depression, sadness, and longing. I just assume they're my emotions.”

“Fuck,” Magnus started pacing, “I knew he loved you but...”

“But what? What are you talking about?”

“BUT you two idiots are bonds! That's what I'm talking about!” Magnus whisper shouted, “You're connected to each other by fate! You can't leave Simon, you have to go back!”

“What?! I can't go back! They'll kill me!” Simon scoffed.

“Simon, Raphael is your bond, he's your mate basically. If he lost you completely, if you left for good, or died, if you severed your connection.... both of you would lose your humanity. You anchor each other. He can't kill you, it would kill him. He'd stop anybody who would try to hurt you,” Magnus explained in a breathless voice, “I haven't met a bond pair in over a century.”

“Wait, so this, what Raphael and I have, it's like true love? We're soul mates or some shit?” Simon asked. Magnus nodded.

“That's why Raphael hasn't been able to get over your betrayal. Something deep within him misses you more than anybody has ever missed someone ever before,” Magnus explained.

Simon looked sick.

_Holy shit._

“I.... I can't,” Simon stuttered, “I can't go back. Not now.”

“Give it some thought, just... don't leave. Okay?” Magnus put his hand on Simon's shoulder, “Leaving just very well might kill the two of you.”

Simon just nodded numbly, he motioned to the door, “Let 'im in,” he mumbled. Magnus nodded and squeezed Simon's shoulder. He went and opened the door to outside.

Soon, Luke and Jocelyn were back in the house. They seemed concerned for him.

“Are you okay Simon?” Jocelyn asked, squeezing his shoulder tenderly. Simon put on a brave face for her.

“I've decided not to leave New York for now,” he smiled, “I'm gonna stick around for a short amount of time.” Jocelyn looked so relieved.

“That's good to hear. Are you going to stay here?”

Simon looked around and shrugged, “I probably shouldn't, in case somebody comes back... but I don't know where else I could stay.”

“With me,” Magnus said, “Vampires have to be invited onto a warlock's property, as you know, so you'll be safe there.” he smiled proudly. Jocelyn looked happy.

“That's so kind of you Magnus,” She grinned. Magnus rolled his eyes.

“I know, I'm making quite the sacrifice actually, I doubt that Alec will be coming over for any.... sleep overs,” Magnus waved his hand vaguely, but everyone knew what he meant anyway.

“I'm sure both of you will be miserable then,” Luke rolled his eyes. “Well, Simon, if you're ever in any danger... you know who to call.”

Jocelyn hugged Simon again and smiled at him, “If you need anything, someone to talk to, a mother, anything, you can call me.”

Simon kissed her cheek, “Thanks, tell Clary I said hi.”

“I will.”

Luke and Jocelyn said their goodbyes then. Luke clapped him on the shoulder but frowned concernedly. “I hope it works out okay Simon,” He said softly.

When they were both gone, Magnus created a portal and Simon gathered a few things.

When he stepped into Magnus's apartment he stepped back in shock at the appearance of Frank.

So did Magnus.

“What the hell are _you_ doing here?” Magnus looked offended at the guilty vampire. Frank looked shocked to see Simon.

“I-I... It's Raphael, he sent me. He needed to know if Simon was safe,” Frank stuttered, making eye contact with Simon, “But I guess I know the answer too that.”

“Who let you in?” Magnus stepped forward threateningly.

“Amadaeus,” Frank mumbled, “But only because I said it was about Raphael.”

“How is he?” Simon said quietly.

Frank looked Simon in the eye and said with all solemnity.

“He's dying, Simon.... Raphael is killing himself.”

* * *

 

Raphael was laying on Simon's bed. His heart, the heart that hadn't beat in over 50 years, the heart that sat useless in his chest, his heart hurt. But it hurt less when he was around Simon's stuff. Or maybe it hurt so much he couldn't feel it.... he wasn't sure anymore.

Lily was outside the door, she refused to enter the traitor's room like Raphael had done. But she would refresh the undrunk blood in the cup on the floor. Frank had been sent in to get him to actually drink the cup, but it hadn't work. Raphael had distracted him. Or maybe Raphael had been the one who'd been distracted.

He felt empty. But then again.... he _was_ empty. He hadn't eaten in.... how long had it been? In anycase, he was nearing the catatonic stage.

This is what they'd done to Camille, Raphael remembered. They starved her until she was unconcious. Or at least, that's what they'd thought. But she'd fed on herself to survive.

Raphael would rather die.

Nothingness would be better than this hell.

So he was killing himself. He suspected that everyone knew it. He was depressed, sure, but he stood tall whenever the clan came to him with an issue. But he got paler, his cheeks got hollower, and his eyes got dimmer.

It was only a matter of time now, till he died for good. There was only one person who could fix this. And Raphael had ordered him dead. He was already dead, by those odds.

He just wished it would happen faster.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its taken so long guys! As always, I hope you enjoyed it. Well..... Actually, that was a pretty depressing chapter. So..... I hope I gave you feels.


	10. Right

Magnus walked into the hotel and ignored the crowding vampires. He walked with his head high and his nose slightly upturned. He didn't even ask where he needed to go, he just strutted through. He walked straight for Simon's room and opened the door so flamboyantly that he knocked the glass of blood over, he only barely managed to stop it with his magic.

“Well you've really let yourself go,” he said with a look of disgust at the probably two day old blood. He looked over to where Raphael was watching him blankly through eyes that looked more dead than usual, “Alright, get up! We're going to go for a walk.”

Raphael answered in silence and a barely raised eyebrow. He grunted.

“You are quite the sorry sight,” Magnus walked over to him and his lip curled up in a hint of disgust. “Get up.”

“I can't,” Raphael whispered from his curled up position.

“Yes you can,” Magnus waved him off, “Get up before I make you.”

“You're going to have to make me, because I actually can not get up,” Raphael's voice was very hoarse.

“What do you mean?” Magnus asked.

“I mean that I'm too weak to get up,” Raphael hissed.

Magnus observed him, concern starting to etch its way into his expression.

“When was the last time you drank?”

“The day that Simon left,” Raphael spit out tiredly, rolling onto his back slowly. Magnus's eyes went wide and he yelled.

“Bring me a fresh glass of blood! O positive!” within a few seconds, a glass of blood was at the door way, Lily was holding it. “Bring it here,” Magnus commanded.

“I refuse to,” Lily stood her ground, semi-crossing her arms, “I refuse to step foot in the _traitor's_ room, let alone with someone who smells like said traitor. Tell me, Magnus Bane, have you had any guests lately?” Lily sneered and Magnus stalked over to her, fury rolling off of him. His eyes had turned to his golden cat eyes as he snatched the glass out of her hand and shoved her backwards with his magic, slamming the door as he turned away from it.

“Goddamn vampires,” Magnus muttered to himself as he stalked back to Raphael, “Now... You're going to drink this.”

“No,” Raphael groaned, “Just let me die already Magnus. It's far past time. I don't know why I'm still awake. I should have gone catatonic at least a day ago.”

“You won't ever go catatonic. Not unless Simon does as well. And since Simon is at my apartment being force fed enough blood to keep the both of you unalive and kicking, that's not going to happen. You should know that he feels sick all the time though. He nearly throws up every time I make him feed,” Magnus waved his hand vaguely. “His will to survive is completely resting on your survival by the way.”

“What do you mean?” Raphael's expression changed more because of what Magnus had said about Simon than it had with any of Magnus's concern about himself.

“About which part? The part where me force feeding Simon is keeping you awake, or the part where if you go catatonic or die that Simon will cease wanting to be alive in any form?” Magnus asked fake-innocently. Raphael attempted to sit up.

“Both? _Dios_.”

Magnus walked over to Raphael and sat next to his head, cradling it and holding the glass of blood up to his lips. “I'll only tell you if you promise to sip on this.” Raphael nodded slightly and parted his lips to receive the blood. “Simon and you are bonds. You're keeping each other alive.” Raphael's eyebrows shot up as nearly choked on the blood, “Don't act so surprised. Surely you could feel his presence, even though he was no where near you?”

Raphael managed to swallow the blood while he was thinking and then nodded.

“ _Si, lo noté. Pero yo no sabía ...”_ Raphael trailed off.

“You didn't know that that is a sign of being bonds?” Magus offered. Raphael nodded slightly before taking another sip of blood. “Simon didn't know either. He didn't even realize that some of the emotions he was experiencing weren't his either. As I assume you didn't.”

Raphael's eyebrows furrowed slightly and his eyes searched the open space of Simon's ceiling, as if he was thinking of the various emotions he's felt since Simon's betrayal. “The thing about Bonds, that I've noticed through the centuries, is that they don't even know they're bonded until someone shakes some sense into them. The bond manifests slowly; usually so slowly that they don't even realize it's there. They start to share emotions first, but so slowly that they don't even realize it, then they start to be more aware of where the other is. Eventually it grows to where they are emotionally, circaphysically, and psychologically connected. However, bye the time they are psychologically connected, they usually have been told they're bonds, or have figured it out themselves.” Magnus looked wise in that moment, his age showed a bit in his eyes and smile.

Raphael stared up at Simon's ceiling. The room still vaguely smelled like Simon. He took another mouthful of blood and swallowed. He could feel a bit of strength returning and he sat himself up some more.

“ _Todo esto es mi culpa._ ” Raphael said quietly, “I should have explained to him why we couldn't wake up Camille. I should have let him in more. Let him know more. Maybe then he would have come to me, instead of going behind my back. _Tal vez entonces no se habría sentido como que tenía que me va a entregar._ ”

“It wasn't all your fault that he felt he had no choice but to betray you. Simon was trying to bring back the only mother figure he had left. The only hint of his old life that he still had. But now that Jocelyn is awake, Simon feels even worse. Because now that Clary has her family back, Simon is realizing that he gave up his own. But he said to Jocelyn, he'd do it all over again if it meant making sure that Jocelyn, Luke, and Clary could all be happy. He's incredibly loyal, and even though he betrayed you by letting Camille loose, he did it for all the right, most loyal reasons. He genuinely thought that everyone would be better if things happened like that,” Magnus looked down at his feet, “Simon genuinely didn't know what he meant to you.”

“I wish he knew,” Raphael downed the rest of his blood and frowned deeply.

“You can tell him,” Magnus spoke up after a second, “Tell him how much you care about him.” Raphael sighed and looked at his hands.

“I wish that were possible, but if Simon gets anywhere close to me, the clan....”

“Will obey your orders,” Magnus said softly, he put his bejewled hand on Raphael's, “What's more important? Your old orders to kill Simon? Or the happiness of the Clan, not to mention yourself? If you make peace with Simon, the entire clan will follow suit. And if you and Simon openly become bonds, that will heal all rifts between your clan members.”

“What do you mean rifts between clan members?” Raphael looked up attentively. Magnus sighed deeply.

“Frank told us that there are some members of your clan who are threatening mutiny against your Second. Lily Chen has been very.... violent about Simon's betrayal, and there are some who didn't think that Simon's betrayal was that bad, and think that his punishment was a bit extreme. Lily's followers have become rather... hostile towards those who claim to be on your side, who believe that Simon's absence is the cause of your failing health and the rifts in the clan. However, Lily and her followers also claim to be on your side, claiming that Simon's betrayal was against you directly. If you were to openly forgive and bring Simon back into your life as a bond, possibly even mates, then no doubt both sides would realign. Any lasting hostility toward Simon would undoubtedly end quickly, seeing as he makes it nearly impossible to hate him,” Magnus explained. Raphael was sitting a bit straighter now and he bit his lip and nodded.

“But how? How could I see him again?”

“I'm working with Simon on some plans. If you promise to start taking care of yourself and make it so that Simon doesn't have to drink enough blood for the two of you, then I can focus on getting you two a meeting instead of forcing blood down your beloved's throat. Deal?” Magnus smiled charmingly at Raphael. Raphael hesitated for a second and then nodded. Magnus grinned brightly.

* * *

 

Simon picked up the rose with one hand, he'd been working since sun down, cleaning up the courtyard. He looked over to where Isabelle was brushing her hands on her leather pants.

“There,” She grinned, turning to Simon, the fountain was working again (thanks to Magnus) and Isabelle had just finished restoring the beautiful, delicate, details in the stone.

“Thanks Izzy,” Simon smiled brightly, and brought her a flower, “M'lady, for your efforts, a rose.” Izzy laughed but still took it and smelled it.

“It's amazing that, even though this garden was over grown, the flowers are still this perfect this late in the year.” She sighed, looking around the courtyard and back to the patio where Clary was carefully arranging a table. Jocelyn was bringing out a vase and bunch of strands of out door Christmas lights.

Alec, who was here “against his will” but was working very enthusiastically otherwise, took them from Jocelyn and started hanging them up. Simon sped over to Jocelyn and took the vase. He sped over to the alcove and started to gather up the various colors of roses.

“Magnus says that he's ready to bring Raphael over whenever your ready,” Alec supplied, after about 20 minutes, from where he was standing precariously on a ladder, a string of lights in one hand and phone in the other. He was almost done hanging the lights.

Simon felt his un-beating heart speed up, well, I mean, not really, but still. He sped to the table and put the vase, with a bouquet of roses in it, in the center. He looked around and felt, subconsciously, a distinct feeling of tired but eager anxiety. Part of him could tell it wasn't his own emotion. Which would make that what Raphael was feeling right now....

Simon looked up to where Alec was finishing up with the lights, then to where Clary was brushing her pinky against Izzy's, then to where Jocelyn was wiping down the kitchen counters again. He let it sink in that his friends were all here for him and he took that emotion of calm that it brought him and imagined that calm being transferred over to Raphael. Slowly, Raphael's anxiety died down, and Simon watched Alec turn the lights on. The lights illuminated the entire courtyard, making it look elegant in the night.

“Perfect,” Simon whispered.

Clary came over to him and grabbed his hand, smiling brightly.

“I'm sorry that I haven't been around much Simon, but thank you for asking me to do this,” She said softly. She pulled him into a hug and squeezed him tight, “I hope everything works out for you and Raphael.” Clary pulled back and kissed him on the cheek.

“You too,” Simon grinned before winking and looking pointedly at Isabelle. Clary blushed slightly before hugging him again and heading into the house.

Alec walked up to him, steadying the ladder with one hand, “Thanks for getting out of Magnus's house,” He said bluntly, “And I hope that I didn't string those lights up there for nothing.”

Simon supposed that was Alec's way of saying good luck.

“Thank you Alec. For everything,” Simon said sincerely. The look that Alec gave him was _almost_ fond. But then Alec rolled his eyes and clapped Simon on the shoulder before carrying the ladder into the house to leave.

“Go get some tiger,” Izzy pulled Simon into a tight hug, “And use protection.” Izzy sauntered off after slapping Simon's ass, hurrying after Clary.

Simon smiled at how beautiful the Courtyard looked, the gardens were weeded and watered, the pathways were all clean, the fountain was clean and working and beautiful, and the rose alcove was trimmed and gorgeous. The moon and the string lights illuminated the entire courtyard, the bushes and trees casting shadows, but in an elegant way, not creepy like Simon might have once thought they were.

He felt a warm hand on his shoulder and turned to see Jocelyn. The woman, that he felt was like a mother to him, searched his face before smiling. “This is the happiest I've seen you in a while Simon,” she said softly, “If this boy will make bring you the happiness and the love you need, then you should go to the ends of the earth to win him. Okay?”

Simon nodded and hugged her as tight as he could.

“I love you Simon,” she said as she hugged him back, she kissed his head, “Now that you're dead, its time that you start living for yourself.” She pulled back and smiled fondly. “Go win his heart dear.” Jocelyn kissed his cheek once more before heading to the house to leave, “The blood is in a crystal pitcher in the fridge!” She called before heading towards the front door.

Simon walked into the house, Luke, Izzy, Magnus, and himself had spent the past two days, since Magnus visited Raphael, remaking the building into something nicer and a mixture of modern and elegantly vintage in decoration, with no windows. The kitchen was a lot nicer then the run down state it had been in two days ago, but Warlocks are useful for something after all.

Simon took a deep, unnecessary, breath and pulled out his phone to text Magnus.

**> > Okay, I'm ready.**

Simon walked back out into the courtyard and bit his lip. Waiting.

There was a flash of a portal being opened then Raphael was pushed out of it into the courtyard, unceremoniously. Raphael stumbled a few step forward and Simon zoomed forward to help him, catching him.

They both froze.

Raphael slowly looked up at Simon and Simon felt his unused heart leap into his throat as dark, deep eyes met his.

“I was going to try and say something romantic,” Simon blurted out, “I had this whole speech prepared actually,” Simon started to ramble as he looked into Raphael's eyes, feeling more electricity coarsing through him than he had in weeks, “but it seems like, now that I'm actually here with you, face to face, I can't remember a word of it. And now that you're actually here, any sense of smoothness that I had is gone. All I can remember of the speech is I'm sorry. I'm sorry I betrayed you, I'm sorry I left, and I'm sorry I'm rambling.”

“ _Tu idiota_ ,” Raphael said before yanking on Simon's shirt.

Their mouths met, and it felt like they were finally whole again.

All was finally right again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll get the translation for Spanish to English up soon if I can remember.


	11. What I Had to Do

          At this point, Jace was planning on returning to the Institute after refusing to work with Valentine. Before heading back to the Institute however, Jace spent some time going around town. Honestly, the only thing that he knew for a while was what he was told when Simon texted Jace about Raphael and him being bonds. Jace had smiled sadly and talked to Simon for a while about what that was like. Then Simon changed the topic to Jace himself and it became a game of Wheel of Excuses.

          So as far as Jace knew at this point, Simon and Raphael were bonds and it was slowly killing both of them at the same time that it was keeping them alive. He knew, also, about Jocelyn being awake and about how Simon felt about that ( _read: about how confused Simon was with his feelings about that_ ). But he refused to text Alec, like Simon was trying to get him to do.

          Most of the time, Jace would send little things, like a picture of his shoe or an apple, to tell Simon that he was still alive. He even sent a selfie, of him hidden behind a dumpster once. Sometimes Jace would just send a word like _Alive_ or _Uninjured_. At first, Simon would try to start up a conversation. Now, if he receives just a word, he either won't reply or will send a _Good_ or a _Stay that way._

          But one night, Jace was hidden away in the back of a club, tucked up as tight as he could, and decided to text Simon.

          **< < Hey, I'm still alive. How's it going? Figured out shit with Raphael yet?**

          He sent the text and looked at his markings while he waited for Simon to text him back. He was hidden up here in the club because he was surrounded by Mundanes who couldn't see him and the one werewolf that he was watching.

          **> > Well, we got part of it figured out. Raphael and I met again and he's promised to stop starving himself as long as I promised to not leave and he also promised to work on giving me a full pardon and stopping the Clan from killing me next time they see me and I promised to help him hunt down Camille and to stay by his side for eternity and then we made out a lot. Not exactly in that order.**

Jace felt a pang in his heart, the heart that he and his.... _father_ had tried so hard to train to be ruthless. Jace was still working on getting over Simon. It was taking more effort than he expected it to.

          _Stupid fickle emotions._

          **> > What about you? … How's it going with you?**

          Jace frowned and pulled his knees tighter to his chest. His _father_ would call that a sign of weakness. Hell, Maryse would call that a sign of weakness too. Not that she ever told Jace that. Since she used to think Jace was the fucking moon and stars. But she told Alec that, once. Jace let his mind travel away from Simon.

          _He'd hurt him. Jace had hurt Alec, and Alec was crying. It was a broken nose. Alec's nose was bleeding and he was crying and he had backed away from Jace, curling in on himself in pain. He was only 9 or 10 and he was small and skinny and crying._

_“I'm sorry Alec,” Jace had stepped towards his brother, “I-I didn't mean to break your nose.” Alec was curled with his knees to his chest, blood dripping onto the dark grey training pants he was wearing, tears dripping down his cheeks._

_“It's o-okay,” Alec tried to sniffle, the blood still coming out his nose._

_“Alexander,” Maryse had snapped, marching into the room, “Get up this instant. You will never cower like that again, do you hear me?”_

_Alec had sprung to his feet, shame on his face, “Yes mother.” He'd said without a single sniff._

_“Now resume training,” Maryse had said, turning her back on Alec's bleeding nose, and Jace's worried frown._

_Jace tried to get Alec to stop sparring, saying that Hodge would let them stop, since Alec's nose was bleeding. But Alec just attacked more furiously. Blood flowing down his face as he made attack after attack. He was mad when it seemed to him like Jace was going easy on him. So Jace didn't. Alec had a few more bruises then usual that day at training and he threw away his bloodstained clothes. Alec never cried when he was hurt during training again._

In some ways, Jace wondered whether Maryse was worse than his own father. She showed no sympathy towards Alec when he'd been injured that day, and cared more about her precious reputation and standing with the Clave than about her son's love life. I mean, sure she wasn't killing Downworlders and stealing their blood and trying to start a war with the Clave and the Downworlders..... but she had tried once already and that hadn't succeeded.

          At best, Maryse Lightwood was nearly as bad as Jace's father. At worst.... she could make his father quake.

          Jace remembered that he hadn't replied to Simon yet and his attention snapped back at his phone.

          **< < Never before have I wanted to be a mindless Mundane until now. But otherwise, I am alive.**

** >> So you miss us?**

          Simon's reply was immediate. Jace grinned slightly and rolled his eyes.

          **< < Sure.... Is that what Mundanes say? “I miss you guys”. FINE I miss you guys. Except Raphael. Who is still an asshole, I hope you realize.**

** >>.... well...... I supppoooooseeee he kinda is. But so am I and so are you so there.**

Jace noticed a strange figure enter the club and he looked at his sensor, it showed demonic activity.

          **< < I gotta go. There's something fishy going on. Stay Alive Simon.**

** >> Stay alive.**

 

          “Alexander,” Magnus called as Alec walked by. Alec stopped and turned to Magnus, surprised to see him on the street.

          “Oh... Hey Mangus,” Alec walked a few steps back to Magnus Bane, “What are you doing?”

          “OH, you know,” Magnus smiled, “Enjoying the city.”

          “You're 400 years old, you saw any city worth notice within your first century,” Alec crossed his arms.

          “Oh darling,” Magnus purred, “I'm older then that.” Magnus grinned flirtatiously, dipping his head. His black hair was tipped with silver today and silver earrings covered both ears. His eyes were surrounded with silver and green sparkles. He was dressed.... rather tamely for being Magnus Bane, just a black wrap shirt and green jacket and black slacks.

          “How old are you?” Alec asked, curious. Magnus just winked and put a finger over his lips.

          “It's not polite to ask the elderly their age Alexander,” Magnus smirked. Alec rolled his eyes, allowing a very slight smile to grace his usually somber face.

          “Alright then,” Alec shrugged, he started walking, “What are you doing here then?” Magnus quickly caught up.

          “Well, I thought that maybe we could spend some time at mine this evening, now that I no longer have guests staying over,” Magnus offered. Alec almost smiled again. They were walking towards the Institute.

          “I don't know,” Alec said, “My mom is home and she doesn't really approve of me spending any significant time with Downworlders. No offence.”

          “Non taken Alexander, but it's been a long time. Are you sure? Maryse doesn't disapprove if she doesn't know.” Alec turned to look at Magnus, his eyes conflicted. They walked in silence for a while before Alec finally stopped and turned to Magnus.

          “Alright. Lets just get some stuff from the institute first though,” Alec allowed with the tiniest of smiles. Magnus grinned brightly.

          “Wonderful,” he said as they walked towards the church.

          In truth, after all the stuff that had been going on with Simon and Raphael, Magnus had been feeling a little... drained. And part of him associated rest and refreshment with Alexander. Sure there wouldn't be much rest if Alec did decide to spend the night, he'd figured that out the first time Alec spent the night. But there was something about spending the night with Alec that made Magnus feel more well rested than he had in years. As much as Alec seemed to try to push him away during the day, he pulled him even closer at night.

          It seemed to Magnus that he got so quickly attached to the Shadowhunter, since he missed him so much during the time they weren't able to see each other. He watched Alec's face as they walked into the Institute, there was the common set jaw, the serious eyes, furrowed brow, and yet there was just an air of anticipation that seemed to pull the corner of his mouth into a gentler expression.

          Magnus loved it.

          Alec glanced over at him, eyebrow raised, “You're staring,” he said bluntly, looking back to the hallway they were walking down.

          “I guess I see something I like,” Magnus flirted, turning to look at the ornamental decorations of the institute. In his peripheral vision he saw Alec fighting a smile and a blush.

          God, Magnus loved it. He grinned smugly as Alec headed towards his room. Alec walked in and immediately started gathering items.

          “I have to go to Alicante soon,” Alec suddenly blurted. “They’re having some trials and counsels, and I’m old enough now that I am to go. The entire family is going actually. But I’m require to go and help decide what to do about Valentine.” He turned slowly to look at Magnus. “My family may not come back.” He dropped the bomb.

          Magnus felt like a rug had been pulled out from under him, knocking him into a pool, and he couldn’t swim. He felt like he needed to gasp for air.

          “Why?” he said slowly, trying to sound open. He could tell he wasn’t doing a great job at keeping his emotions off his face, if Alec’s pained expression was anything to go by.

          “Considering that the role my parents had with Valentine in the past, and the way that things have been going in this Institute, the Clave is questioning whether my parents are really the best people to run this Institute.” Alec explained, his words were filled with many emotions. Anger, sorrow, acceptance, desperation. Magnus wasn’t quite used to hearing Alec’s voice so openly filled with emotion. “The clave isn’t wrong.” Alec said with a hint of exasperation, “My parents haven’t been good for the Institute. It needs to be run by someone better qualified for the job.”

          “Is there…” Magnus swallowed, taking a breath, “Is there any chance that you can come back to this Institute even if your parents aren’t running it?” Alec thought about it.

          “There’s… a slight chance that… that _I_ might be chosen.” Alec turned back around to face his bag that he was packing. “Only slight. But they know that the more organized times for this Institute has been when I’ve been, more or less, in charge. And they wouldn’t want to introduce someone unfamiliar with the area and the different Downworlder communities here. So, there is a chance.”

          “But if they don’t?” Magnus gently asked. Alec looked over at him sadly.

          “Then I’ll have to go wherever I’m stationed. I can request here, but it’s even less likely that I’d get assigned here if someone else is running it,” Alec said honestly, “So probably not.”

          Magnus looked around for a second and walked over to the door, shutting and locking it. He turned around and walked back to Alec, pulling him into a kiss. He slowly pulled away from the kiss and hugged Alec.

          “Let’s hope that doesn’t happen. Everything will work out,” He mumbled as he pushed his face into Alec’s neck.

          “Yeah,” Alec hugged Magnus back tightly.

          After a few seconds. Magnus released him and took a step back. “You should finish packing. We need to spend the time we have left wisely.” Alec smiled sadly and nodded.

 

          Simon felt like hell when he woke up in prison. Sure, reconnect with Raphael. Go to Alicante, against Raphael’s wishes (so Raph is probably pissed off now). On top of that, why not get arrested for no reason besides that you’re a daylighter in the City of Glass. Now, add the fact that you can’t accept blood from these people and you feel like hell and you kind of get where Simon’s at.

          Oh yeah, and that guy who keeps talking to him from the cell over.

          Raphael isn’t talking to him either.

          This is wonderful.

          “Simon,” a familiar voice pipes up. Simon raises an eyebrow and walks over to the jail cell window.

          “Jace?” he asks questioningly.

          “Are you okay?”

          “Oh I’m just fine. It’s not like the cell is dark, damp, and nasty.”

          “Oh stop complaining, they at least haven’t killed you yet.”

          Simon rolled his eyes hard, “That’s so encouraging, Jace, that should be put on an Inspirational Poster.”

          “Stop sassing me. I brought you blood,” Jace sassed back.

          “Really?” Simon’s mouth felt super dry suddenly.

          “Yeah, don’t take the blood they give you.”

          “I wasn’t planning on it….” Simon said hesitantly, he wasn’t saying why he wouldn’t.

          “Here,” Jace said, suddenly a canister was tossed into the cell. Simon caught it with vampiric ease and his stomach growled at the smell.

          “Thanks Jace,” Simon sighed, relieved.

          “I’m sorry they took you Simon,” Jace sounded sad, “I’ll try to get you out, but it’s harder here in Alicante. You shouldn’t have come.”

          “I know. But you know I had to.”

          “What about Raphael?” Simon heard Jace’s voice catch. Simon shut his eyes tightly. Jace was still hurting about that.

          “I kind of pissed him off. But he’ll be fine. I’m sure,” Simon explained weakly. He could hear Jace take a deep breath in.

          “I’m sorry Simon.”

          “It’s fine. I did what I had to do.”

          “I’ll get you back to him Simon, I promise.” Jace sounded so sad.

          “I’m sorry Jace.” Simon said softly. Jace took a sharp breath.

          “I’ve got to go Simon, I’ll talk to you later.” Simon heard Jace start to walk away.

          “Okay,” he whispered.

          It felt lonelier in the cell now, the darkness pressed in more, with only the canister of blood to remind Simon of the warmth Jace had brought to the damp space.

          _I did what I had to._ He told himself as he opened the canister and took a deep chug of blood. He repeated that too himself a lot over the next few days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the weird time jumps. I'm trying to get a hold of writing again.


	12. After Cain

                _I did what I had to do._

_…_

_I can never go home again._

_…_

_I did… I did what I had to do._

_…_

_Raphael…._

_I did what I had to do, I had no choice._

_…_

_I’m so sorry Raph._

_…_

_I’m sorry._

               

* * *

 

                Raphael felt the strain on their bond. The effects of the sigil that Clary had put on Simon was straining on his and Simon’s bond. 

                Simon couldn’t have a home anymore. He couldn’t live the rest of his immortal life with Raphael at the DuMort. Simon would be a forever wanderer. It was horrible.

                But even the curse of Cain couldn’t keep Raphael from caring about his bond.

                No one could really know that though.

                Raphael crossed his arms and glared at Simon, the clan were standing behind him, all with their fangs bared at the Daylighter and the Shadowhunter standing beside him.

                “Simon doesn’t belong here anymore,” Lily said, with fake hostility, to Raphael. Raphael’s glare hardened, with her words. He saw and felt the pain in Simon’s eyes, and could hear Simon talking to him over their bond. Simon was begging and apologizing and expressing how much he loved him.

                Raphael’s un-beating heart hurt so much.

                “My first is right,” Raphael said coldly, “Simon doesn’t have a home at the DuMort. Thanks to the curse he so _willingly_ accepted from the _Daughter of Valentine_ he no longer has a home amongst any vampire clan in the world.” He heard whispers amongst his clan about how they’d hate for that to be them, or how they feel bad for Raphael, or about what a fuck up letting Simon in the clan in the first place had been. “That’s not to say,” Raphael said loudly, “that we are necessarily kicking you out of the clan,” he looked into Simon’s eyes and pushed his pained love towards the love of his life through their bond. He felt some relief from Simon. “However, your curse could cause danger to this clan, therefore, we can not let this be your home. Not that this curse would let it be. Which is why we must ask you to not come back to the DuMort unless summoned. If you vow your loyalty to our clan and promise to continue in your services as Ambassador as you move from place to place in your cursed wanderings, then this clan will protect you and come to your aid in time of need. Do we have an agreement?” Raphael raised his eyebrows at Simon, daring him to argue with him in front of the clan like he’d argued with him last night.

                Simon stared him dead ass in the eyes and raised an eyebrow back.

                “I will agree with that on one condition,” Simon smirked. Raphael didn’t let his frustration show on his face other than a vague eyeroll.

                “Which is?” Raphael asked with fake pleasantry, he openly let his frustration flow through their bond.

                “Upon the subject of my exile from the DuMort unless summoned. I would like to appoint Jace Wayland as my messenger to the DuMort, which means that the clans protection of me would extend to Jace Wayland as well. That’s my sole condition,” Simon said in a calm, assertive tone.

                Raphael rolled his eyes and waved his hand dismissively, “Fine, but I can’t promise that he will be 100% unharmed if he comes too frequently. Now go retrieve your things and get out of here.” Raphael turned his back on this bond and his bond’s shadowhunter.

                He felt a stab of disappointment from Simon as he headed up to his office. It wasn't the ideal situation for him and Simon, but they'd make it work.

                The DuMort reeked of that stupid Shadowhunter for days.

               

* * *

 

                Simon smiled at Jace as they unpacked the groceries together.

                Jace smiled back, it made his eyes light up.

                “So, two apartments in four weeks?” Jace leaned against the counter, holding a carton of eggs.

                “It’s been nearly 5 weeks!” Simon said defensively, putting up Jace’s (completely unhealthy and stupidly priced and too sugary) cereal, “I don’t like this one. Besides! One of the neighbors saw me with nearly an entire cow of steaks because I needed the blood from them and now they keep looking at me like I’m a creeper.”

                “Well,” Jace rolled his eyes, “they’re obviously insane, I mean, what kind of person thinks that an unnaturally pale man who doesn’t breathe, and habitually buys a ton of bloody food, is weird? I mean I thought that was half the population of New York City?”

                “Oh, shut up, that _is_ half the population of NYC you fucking idiot,” Simon lightly threw a bag of rice at Jace. Jace caught it with ease and faked a shocked look.

                “What!?” he gasped dramatically, “I had no idea!”

                “You’re a fucking dork,” Simon rolled his eyes and open the cupboard to put up some chips that Jace had demanded because he’s a fucking pig sometimes. (How he keeps his figure, Simon has no idea) Jace rolled his eyes again and finally put the eggs up in the fridge. “How’d the meeting go?”

                “Alec wants to strangle Raphael, and I would help,” Jace said casually.

                “So, Alec isn’t doing well with the new position?” Simon chuckled as he finished putting away the groceries.

                “I mean, he _didn’t_ strangle Raphael, so I think that that means he’s doing an _amazing_ job, considering that Raphael is the most stubborn thing that exists,” Jace said, not without sneering a little bit. Simon grinned and sent a thought to Raphael through they’re bond. _Good job babe._

                “Hey, Raphael gets what needs done, done,” Simon defended his mate. Not because Raphael needed it (Jace was completely in the right) but because it would annoy Jace.

                _Tell Wayland I said to go suck a dick._ Raphael replied.

                _What have I said about being kind to Jace_? Simon thought back.

                “Stop doing that!” Jace rolled his eyes, “That’s gross, you get this look on your face!”

                “Go suck a dick,” Simon snapped playfully.

                _Ooh “What did I say about being nice to Jace?” ooh. You’re sooooo nice._ Raphael mocked him.

                Simon rolled his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Not really much to say. Hope you liked it!


End file.
